I am from Chicago, does Jay still have a job in the NFL anymore?

“They’re too immature.”

Maybe they had that Thallium Tea. I’ve heard that when it goes bad, it really turns on you.

“They’re too immature.” - Man who at 39 got drunk, crashed his car into a telephone pole and then fled into the woods.

See also: Death by Excessive Zeal for Self-Rehabilitation Through Manual Labor Syndrome, first observed during the construction of the White Sea-Baltic Sea Canal and later particularly prevalent among Baltic and German, uh, “settlers” in Siberia in the late ‘40s

I feel like the entire purpose of this article was to tee up Cutler jokes. This one made it worth it.

Sure, but the problem is that Spain doesn’t really have a middle class. Just the Big 2, 4 European contenders and 14 teams that are there to make up the numbers. England this season has a Big 1, next 5 and a 12-team midtable, and a couple of teams that really have no business at the top level.

Oh fuck....

But they’re some of the best words. They’re often the biggest and classiest words, too.

“The cleanest and most checked in the world.”

That is an absolutely phenomenal, outstanding take.

And we’re not even sure if he’s even that big a fish in that small pond. He got jeered by the crowd for taking a penalty for his fourth goal instead of letting Cavani (who won the penalty) take it and become the club’s all time scoring leader. Plus, Mbappe and Cavani do just fine without him in the league.

I believe the correct response is “dat ass tho...”

The graphic designer still cranking out solid content on an Apple II GS, I guess?

Who is supposed to not be giving up here?

+1 lace out

It’s like a real-life version of the the frog/pelican poster that my 8th grade teacher had hanging in his classroom.

TENTACLES OUT!

Mike Pence, what are you doing on Deadspin? Get off the computer before Karen catches you!

After seeing this I implore KFC, for the good of this nation, to put live octopus in their buckets of chicken.