“We will get you out 75% of the time if you’re GOOD. We will jump and scream on the mound and stomp back to the dugout if we ring you up in a key situation, or whenever we want, really. But, if you are happy about one of the best moments of your life, we will throw a ball at potentially fatal speeds at your head,…

I will always champion those who break the unwritten rules of baseball, because the unwritten rules of baseball are all, 100%, yes even your favorite one, fucking stupid.

Let’s watch it again!

Pinkham’s Law (Deadspin Edition)

I’m a Yankees fan...and goddammit this is fantastic.

I starred this. Then I un-starred it just so I could star it again.

I want to share this on Facebook and unfriend everyone that says anything bad about it. The Bautista Bat Flip is way better than any political litmus test. If you hate this, I probably hate you.

Take that Brian McCann you fat fuck.

But... but... that’s all I hear on the ferry from Sydney! “Shoot, Gord, you are my Newfie!” “Didja see the menu at Sheilagh’s place over there now? That Newfie’s got the crazy mad cod fillets right now, eh?” “If you don’t get out of my face right now, you gosh darn Newfie, I will strongly voice my objections, eh!”

HOW…

Astounding. I mean, to actually throw Cardinals fans onto the field when there are wastebins about.

The kid got beaned by the can, but the Unwritten Rules of Baseball say he better look out for the pitcher.

That is our word!!

The baby will probably have a bruise on their head, but it could have been much worse. Thank God the fans were only throwing light beer cans.

In Canada, though, the riot gear cops don’t beat up black people; they beat up Newfies.

Fans in Toronto hate the Maple Leafs so much they’re now throwing stuff when the Rangers score a hat-trick.

Ooh, did the riot gear cops come out? That’s always my favorite part.

/seizes microphone

More likely some drunken Cards fan; a disheveled and puffy-faced jackass at the tail end of a two day bender. He’ll probably look a lot like this.

It’s gonna suck when Steve Bartman sneaks up there and steals the ball before Game 6 of the NLCS.