Fuck.

Shoulda called ‘em a “little shit”.

Don’t sweat the whole pronoun thing, Tom. I hear Eddie Murphy has a similar problem.

That is a girl, Tom.

The Dodgers need Kershaw to get it done or he’s going to be baseball’s Peyton Manning

I think we should refer to this as: The Goodell Effect. He's such a shitty commissioner, that he's effecting the decisions of all the other commissioners.

Pictured: Big Tweet

Ah, sorry to hear you guys got laid off. I’m sure you’ll land on your feet.

THE WORST REPRESSION OF FREE SPEECH IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND

You must have run afoul of BIG DAILY FANTASY.

Police say there is no clear motive for the attack.

Goodell: Two games!

On the Pittsburgh sideline, an aware Ben Roethlisberger was excitedly shouting “18! 18! 18!”. Mike Tomlin told him to stop, and ignored Roethlisberger’s pleas that he had not been looking at the cute girl in front row’s drivers license.

Imagine if this happened at Foxboro. What shitstorm would we be waking up to this AM?

This is nothing. Michael Vick lost 23 months of his life!

If I were Cespedes I would’ve flipped that bat so hard it would make the Korean league offer me more money than Kershaw’s getting now

I’m at the game and it’s currently 13-4. I’ve been going to Mets games for a long time - longer than I care to admit - and I’m not sure Queens has ever been like this. Even when Endy was being Endy.

Cespedes For The Rest of us!

Hyde Park will be okay (due to the private police force).

I firmly believe that if the Cubs win the World Series, the city of Chicago will be absolutely destroyed. Everything will be smashed and burned. Everything.