Actually I hear Tom Brady’s taking it pretty hard.

Well he might not have the best head on his shoulders, but you can’t deny he’s got quite a butt.

Obligatory:

So did you remember any of it? Were you aware something was wrong at the time? Or was it all just a blur or you have no memory of it at all?

As someone who lives in Michigan I just want to assure all those in the education community that, as bad as your worst fears about Betsy DeVos and her becoming the Secretary of Education may be, I can say with complete confidence the reality is that it’s going to be much, much worse.

I know Pence is a piece of filth.

There might be a lot more upside to than you think in another 48 hours.

Joe Paterno did him one better and declared himself not guilty before any charges could be filed.

If I was Obama I’d be considering pardoning every criminal in Texas as a farewell present.

You’re a good man or woman.

I could be wrong. I was usually pretty fucking wasted in my college biology class.

I guess the only question now is if this job at Texas will be the climax of his career.

Or, if you are talking about the sheer amounts of work it does, the heart, also known as the love muscle, is the strongest.

The tongue?

You know how long it takes to unlace one of those things?

He’d love it long time.

Because why the fuck not?

It’s kind of like getting in the balls and you tell everyone how it was the worst pain imaginable.

I’m going to start freebasing.

No shit.