I keep hoping Phoenix unretires his number.

Clearly all the construction workers couldn’t have signed it, so I want to know how they chose the ones that did.

Even though it has nothing to do with it, the fact the cheerleaders are wearing Captain America shirts just makes it even more hilarious.

That’s funny. I would have expected pitchers on the Atlanta Braves to complain about being abused first.

If I was in charge of the ceremony I would have had Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Isiah Thomas and Hakeem Olajuwon show up wearing their combined 18 rings, while a video montage showing all the times they owned KJ’s ass was played on the video boards in the arena.

Most dudes look disgusting with no shirt on, so the decline of shirtlessness is a good thing.

Yeah I guess the guy who holds the record for most receiving yards in a season ain’t even worth mentioning.

So there’s a scene in “Airplane 2" where William Shatner’s character is informed about the trouble that the space shuttle is in and, when, he asks his Lieutenant how they should handle it the following exchange occurs:

That’s overrated.

Gotta take success where you can get it.

Perry Bird-Larry’s illegitimate half brother.

You’re not wrong.

In other news, the Browns and Bills have started a bidding war for Fisher to be their next head coach.

I was just spitballing. I haven’t ever suffered an injury like this so I don’t know the going rate these days.

Yeah I guess I am being a little too hard on a group that was already on probation for repeated incidents of sexual hazing.

Oh boo hoo a bunch of rich kids don’t get to have their little club anymore where they can act like total jackasses under the guise of being a “band”

They were big fans of Alex English back in the day.

Which was the main reason they became the Eagles instead.

Kennedy claims he shot Jones because he wasn’t doing his share to help row the boat.

I’d just like, once, to be there when someone who does something like this is presented with their bill for $10000 for the surgery and to repair their leg and ask them how cool do they feel now.