Probably suffer. And realise that your longings for self-pleasure are sinful, sinful feelings. Suffer in pain and shame!

You must be a pretty big hit at parties ... You remind me of Krank in The City Of Lost Children, where he walks into a room and all the candles on his surprise birthday cake simultaneously extinguish. Seriously, do you have any joy in your life?

I'd take that site with a grain of salt. He did, after all, write, "Watch Ratatouille to see how intelligent rats are."

Oh, at the Melbourne Int'l Film Festival. Last Sunday. I highly recommend it - it's one of the better horror films that have been released lately. One third goofy, one third genuinely disturbing, and one third batshit terrifying. Definitely check it out!

Glad this guy isn't an Australian - he'd be bloody thirsty.

A couple of years ago I helped a florist friend provide the orchid blossoms and sundry flower arrangements for a model who was to be the "platter" for a nyotaimori party at a sushi restaurant in San Francisco. We just draped different flower arrangements over key parts of her body, well before the chefs came out with…

Eesh, reminds me of one of the stories in VHS.

Oh for Christ's sake people - it's rubbish fast-food processed chicken? Are these people genuinely serious about being conflicted regarding the trash they put in their body? Chances are, that Chick-Fil-A off of Route 73 has about three dozen other restaurants right next to it on that turn-off - do your freaking…

Out of curiosity and speaking of apocalyptic scenarios, whatever happened to that panda apocalypse film? Did that ever get made, or was it just a dream?

I wonder what the first American film to use the word "fuck" was.

Youch. Sorry you had such a bad experience! I used to have a cat who occasionally drew blood - but nothing ever that bad! Yikes. Now I'm second-guessing adopting a kitty.

"And dispose of the whale as humanely as possible."

Uh, Cut Copy is from Melbourne, Victoria - not New York.

Yeah. One of the groups that gets most of Chick-Fil-A's $$$ is the Family Research Council - a registered hate group, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center. One of the things they support is the execution of gays (the so-called "Kill The Gays" bill) in Uganda. So there's that.

"Magically stupid". I'm going to have to use that phrase somewhere down the road.

It's a Rupert Murdoch-owned tabloid, so read into that what you will.

I think it's Buffalo Bill. "It puts the lotion in the basket; it does this whenever it's told."

With all your cares taken care of in captivity, longevity is practically a gibbon!

All kinds of really nifty Easter Eggs in these posters:

Otherwise we'd have to issue a cetacean.