Only research done for the piece.

Oh goody, if Kylie Jenner wants to be the next Kylie Jenner, I call dibs on being the current Kylie Jenner!! Hello mansion, money, pool, and enough hair extensions to make wigs for a small country.

I love Gaga. I've had an eating disorder for over a decade now (don't worry, getting help), and there are very few celebrities that speak about having an eating disorder that don't make me roll my eyes. Headlines about "XX OPENS UP ABOUT HER EATING DISORDER!" where said celebrity admits to throwing up once or twice…

Stop. With. The Kontour. When it reads this harsh in photographs I can only imagine (with horror) how it appears in person. This does not look like the subtle interplay of shadow and light. It looks like white and burnt orange Behr Exterior Premium Plus.

I just want to draw some quick attention to this line from Stanley's NYT piece (emphasis mine):

Can we start a Kickstarter for chairs? Thousands and thousands of chairs so that Stanley can have all the seats she needs to have.

I'm calling it now. In our lifetimes there will be a trend where corporations make their staff get tattoos of their logos to prove their loyalty.

No, I'd still tip him 20%, honestly. I'd also make damn sure he knew who I was at the end of the meal. That would be such a better karmic reward than screwing him on a tip.

lol my pieces would all be

She sounds like me at work.

Monogrammed coffee thermoses, I'm important! I'm important, bitch, I'm important!

Exactly. It's not that it matters what the woman is wearing, or more correctly, it's not that it should matter to anyone. But people are going to ask, because people are horrible.

We were in a family-friendly restaurant, around 6:30pm, and I was wearing a loose-fitting, long sleeve shirt, jeans, and no makeup...so I'm not sure where the confusion arose as to what kind of service you were being provided.

Laura's employer sounds like a great place to work.

In other news, it sounds like Brian got a little of Laura to go. Just ... not the part that he wanted. OOPS.

Well, 1. we don't actually know that she was having sex in public, or even dry humping in public, so I would hold off judgment on that. I could see standing by the side of my car, my boyfriend sitting on the passenger seat, and sitting on his lap to kiss him while we were waiting. 2. it is very possible that the…

But on the same token - if we are the constantly the ones selecting this type of look, they why are we hypocritically angry at her for having it? She's someone who is trying to be famous and have a career and playing into a common trope to do so. There are so many things wrong with our valuation of youth and…

Using the phrase "bringing up the race card" as this cop did isn't even a red flag warning of racism. It's a huge, flashing neon sign that says "THIS IS ABOUT RACE."

That was absolute perfection and she even managed to make the actual makeup look great! My hands would have been way too rage-shakey.

"Because we suck."

Of course, when RG3 says "He was watching over me," he's referring to Malsumis, the Native American god of cruelty who has been plotting his demise since the day he was drafted.