.... just, like, this is fucking bullshit. If you’re a cop and you see someone jaywalking you could literally just say, “Excuse me, sir, but please don’t jaywalk. It’s technically illegal and you could be fined” and that’s fucking it. Pat down? On the street in broad daylight? Fucking performance art for rich white…

These may save you a teensy bit of time preparing the food but you’ll lose out when it comes time to clean up.  Can you imagine cleaning that banana slicer versus a knife?

Back when I was a kid, we had this and we liked it:

HACK: Pull the leaves off a strawberry by hand and eat the rest. You’ll be just fine, I promise!

I freaking hate stupid. There is so damn much of it around these days - and worse? They’re proud to be dumbasses. Proud. I wish it were fatal.

It boggles the mind that this has to be spelled out.

If you’re staying at home and not commuting, the primary purpose of your car and your annual mileage has clearly changed. Telling your insurance provider that should lower your premium.

A week definitely counts as a success.

Big solid F you to the families out there who’ve bought more than one backyard kiddie pool. Another big solid F you to home depot for thinking it’s acceptable to charge 70 bucks for a “scheduled delivery” of a small inflatable pool that weighs no more than like 10 lbs.

We’ve set up the sprinklers like a little…

trips to Ohio

Free fake-summer lifehack: 1) Fill a spray bottle with water, a teaspoon of salt, and a little sunscreen. 2) Print out a relaxing picture of the ocean and tape it to the wall. 3) Tell little Johnny or Jill to take a gander at the photo, then have him close his eyes while you spritz his 5 senses with the fake-summer…

That’s fair! Everyone’s threshold with this kind of stuff is going to be different, depending on your situation and how much (if any) outdoor space you have. 

We’ve been trying to downplay the amount of stress and anxiety this whole thing puts on our kids. To me, it would create less stress on a kid if I just tell them “Sorry, parks are closed” instead of hovering and constantly badgering them to “Pull up your mask, stop touching your face, don’t get too close to other…

No. Data is DATA.

And this data says that just as many people are going to get sick and die today, tomorrow, and forever, if things don’t improve in many places in this country.

This is your regular reminder that planning and organization in the leadup to this, when we all could see what was coming, likely would have mitigated the effects, at least of the shutdowns if not the disease itself. Particularly with the executive branch of the federal government, which in all but the most…

If any employees from FedEx or USPS decide to reach out to tell me about conditions there, we’ll report on them. This isn’t a hit piece; I have no beef with UPS, but when multiple workers are reaching out to talk about these conditions, it deserves to be reported. No one is trying to stir up paranoia, just expose…

Then don’t go to the site. And never share your streaming service account, which is also stealing. And don’t post images to Facebook that you just find on the internet, which is a blatant violation of copyrights, etc etc

Coming soon: how to use a chip clip to keep your baby wipes from drying out.

Yikes, I had to do the opposite of this because I hated that loud boooong in the morning

This is terrible news for progressives. The only reason Pete would give up before Super Tuesday after ‘winning’ Iowa is to consolidate the moderate lane around Biden. It’s clear that the establishment is pushing Pete out prematurely because they’re terrified of Sanders.