[lightbulb goes off]

So wait, this isn't just a really long Brazzers intro?

pictured: the only time Chris Berman has made a woman wet.

A list of everything Rutgers has done right in the last 365 days.

NASCAR people cheat at everything....the finger hole needs to be below the waist.

It was clearly a problem when he told profs he had never met his study partner and oh yeah, she died of cancer recently.

The Pursuit of CrappyKicks.

The Related banner is blowing my mind right now.

It looks like you're getting a back tattoo. Would you like help?

I picked up my phone and listened to the dialtone for 10 seconds to simulate that experience.

Who?

Hi Skip! You'll love it here at Deadspin.

Take that, Jason Collins.

My favorite part of that video is the trainer petting him like some retarded horse just before it's put down. The brightest stars don't flame out, they end up as glue and dog food

"The Eagles are a strip mall fitness center."

What about "Clusterfuck Sundays?" Will Chip be eliminating that too?

"Five years...it's a long time, Rick."

The unit does have its glitches. If you try and upload more than 3 years worth of Sheryl Crow albums, after a while it just stops working at it.

Someone should also tell Dwight that if your hand is bigger than your face, then you're a team cancer.

And that's not all.