Those tanks are going to break Arlington bridge in half.

Trump almost certainly had a mild heart attack or raised blood pressure or some kind of medical emergency.

I think it’s time for us to take a page out of Hong Kong’s citizens’ playbook.

Haha well, you’re welcome to come to Sweden and try to celebrate Midsummer on a Saturday. Literally no one will join you.

I would love to see a rags-to-riches-to-jail biopic about Melania.

All I know is that all of these children are completely insufferable. It’s like they don’t even try to write them as children at all—how many second graders do you know who exclusively listen to Motown classics and create school presentations in which they refer to their parents as unhinged. These kids are the worst!

He’s definitely a moron, but he’s not The Worst. 

Zoe Kravitz's husband is a fucking moron

all the husbands seems like a stretch. Adam Scott doesn’t seem to be the worst. Neither does Zoe Kravitz’ husband. I mean obviously Perry and now Laura Dern’s husbands were terrible but I disagree all the husbands are the worst

I hope your children kept questioning why they should trust the scientists who made the car or plane they presumably used to travel places, and how they could possibly fuel the vehicles since fossil fuels are a conspiracy.

Did they ask your children to keep it a secret from you? If so there is no way I’d let that slide. Even if they didn’t explicitly tell them to lie but hinted that you’d disapprove and encouraged them not to tell you. It sets a bad precedent.

I need advice/perspective. My folks take my kids on a mini trip every summer. This year, without notification or permission, they took the kids on a side trip to the Noah’s Ark and Creation Museum in KY. They spent most of the time telling them all about how only dumb people believe in evolution, fossils are fiction, s…

Torties can handle anything. Jazzi looks a bit like my Monster, who is the bravest little thing in existence. We were back at the vet today, and she’s trooping on.

I don’t live in the Midwest at all but I wish I could come adopt some of those cats. And Bruce.

Have you considered auditioning to work on a cruise ship?

I can relate as someone who doesn’t enjoy summer at all, I get sleepy all day and I can’t sleep well on nights.

I’m sure this is quite a character flaw but I really do get some pleasure out of seeing someone who thinks the rules don’t apply to her getting her comeuppance. It just happens so rarely these days with the rich and famous.

Campus police should be done away with. Universities should submit to the laws of the cities they’re in, and cities they’re in should take responsibility for the students they benefit economically from having live there. 

So he was basically saying “hi Penelope” to his friend and collaborator of two decades?

Read the room. If you don’t know how to do that, keep your mouth shut.