EEeeep, yeah, I bet! I am fortunate, no metal from mine. I have friends with multiple pieces of metal from various incidences, and it’s always hard to explain, regardless of who you are/how you look.

I was actively trying to NOT dive into a concrete embankment or a creek, and not run over a child, so instead dove onto the bike path. Good news though, my bike was safe!

Although mine wasn’t *technically* in the USSR.

I’m not joking either. I did a 20 MPH swan dive and shattered my scapula and ripped off half my face.

Apparently they were from Texas.

Suicide mission in USSR, naturally.

Are we? I have heavy hooded eyes!

This makes me want to swap shoulder injury stories.

I love to gross people out by making them put their hand on my knee and bending it.

Oh, honey. I am so sorry.

Is there any way you can “attend” the meetings virtually, either by phone or skype? That way you’re only seeing the presentation, and not the audience?

Regardless of what is actually triggering you, if this sort of group situation is harmful, you need a way to be able to get out of it, and…

I am not a mother, so I don’t know how much value my advice has, but I have heard from many of my mom friends that it is fucking torture at the beginning.

One of my friends had a baby with reflux issues, and baby basically would not sleep unless on the boob, or sitting at a 45 degree angle on mom’s lap. Not dad’s lap,…

I am so sorry. This is just....inconceivable. It’s not only bonkers, but that your own family would believe these conspiracies against their own family members...

I am glad you have a safety plan in place.

(((((hugs))))

ADORABLE! I wanna kiss her nose, but gently, so as not to wake her up.

I miss Millihelen so much.

I would love to invite you (and everyone) to go shopping with me at Sephora. I’ve had Sephora sales people walk with us saying “And what would you do in this case? ANd how about this?” because I literally turn all my No-Makeup friends into V.I.B. Rouge people. I *love* makeup.

We just had a mother die and her daughters go to the ER in one of our resorts here after a chairlift fall. No way.

Agreed. I tried snowboarding like 3 times, and I definitely prefer shopping, drinking, and looking cute. The worst thing ever is when you’re walking around Vail Village in search of a cute lil shop with candles and soap, and it’s literally now a snowboard hat shop. Ugh. The WORST!

drowned-corpse-raisin texture

I mean, normally I say don’t shit on the little people answering the phones, but in this case, fuck it. Hey, little people! Prepare yourselves for an onslaught of descriptions for the swampy, clotted, horrifying B-Movie trailer that is my fucken* underwear during the time that is approximately 10 days post-estrus for…

I mean, I remember AOL cds, and “You’ve Got Mail” and chatting with people in AOL chatrooms. I remember getting online and typing out A/S/L like that really freaking mattered....But I do speak pretty good emoji. ANd when I have friends in the solidly Gen X range, I often find that their jokes are just a bit…