Troof. There was absolutely NO way I could justify a PhD in my chosen field. First of all, I live in the US, and my topic was Romani contemporary art. Second, art historians make no money. 3rd...do I need a 3rd?

My dumb name would be even dumber:

Not just our blog pages, but all the HILARIOUS gifs we have posted over the years. And some of them have been FANTASTIC. And then there is the time you gave me pants. I really don’t want to lose that memory (especially because I wear those things ALL THE TIME.)

I just really really really want a pair of angel wings. Like, legitimate ones. I asked one of the sales girls at Victoria’s Secret once, and she was shitty to me, but I probably would have done the same, tbh, so just, seriously, I just want a pair. Preferably those floor length ones. And Karlie’s heels. And Tay-tay’s…

It was a pretty frequent occurrence when I was raped in the late 90s. Falling asleep seemed to imply consent.

Thank you! Cats will always hold value as currency with me!

JFC can we just not with this guy anymore? I mean, I feel like I need to send a medical bill to this bloviating rotten turnip I forgot to harvest last summer, on account of all the anxiety he’s causing me.

Wide tooth comb and leave in creams = That’s how you make a primarily 3B with spots of 3A and 3C with one weird WTAF 2B section (seriously, did my mother drop me there?!?) into something reasonable.

Hello!! Yes!!! Fellow TRIANGLE HEAD TRAUMA sufferer here! Now, I have an AMAZING set of staple products I use, and I am BLESSED AF to live in a dry climate, I still have heart palpitations when I go to the salon - and my stylist is one BAMF who says to me “No, you can’t do that. You have curls. GTFO with that” and…

Totally this. Especially since it is inconsistent, black here, grey there, probably somewhere considered a troll, and yet....

I have a great friend in Indiana. She’s terrific and owns an amazing and progressive and wonderful little bakery, about 20 minutes (est) outside of Indianapolis. She’s evidence that Indiana isn’t all bad. Just mostly bad.

I’m blind as a bat without my glasses, so the first time I was in the water in Hawaii I had a near panic attack as I saw a large shadow swimming closer and closer to us.... And then we realized they were sea turtles!!! It was so beautiful and amazing to watch them swim around us. They weren't afraid, and they were…

Wait, *table tennis* is an Olympic sport? I thought it was merely the side entertainment of college keg parties.

That sounds magical!!!

IT IS!!!! Come to Denver to see it!!! It is SO WORTH IT.

That’s what I thought, but I was worried *I* was being the jerk. But I am pretty sure I wasn’t.

I agree, but who would be judge and jury? I got called “negative” for the following exchange (which I have reproduced in its entirety here, because I really just have nothing better to do):

Butthurt Guy: “Entrepreneurship is living a few years of your life like most people won’t so you can spend the rest of your life…

Please don’t hold your breath for too long. The pink squares aren’t worth it.

In the meantime, can I just rage for a second about how butthurt men can be on twitter?

GRRRRRRRR

OK, I feel better now.

Dolphins are the coolest.

It really is. I had to deal with not only losing my position on a coveted project, losing my job at the biggest firm in town, and also to be told by future husband #1 “You are lucky you didn’t cost that man his career.”

Even now, as an anonymous person on a website, I feel like I am being attention-seeking even talking…