Wrong, but close:

Just give it all up and get a right scottish breakfast, have fish and chips at lunch, and later take cream tea, and you’ll see all that is right with the world.

Hi, are we related?!?!?

Yes. I LOVE this eye roll. I would hang out with her in a heartbeat.

I have a couple friends who went to St. Andrews, so I hold out that at some point in time, we may be in the same room, and then I can totes stand in the corner and think she’s awesome, and never say a word, because I am cool like that.

You forgot the most critical!

“When you enter the multi-stall bathroom (say, 4 stalls) - in each of these scenarios, which one do you use? (O=occupied, X=Empty, W=Handicapped)“

1........2........3........4

Don’t call me from the toilet, multi-, single-, private, or ANYTHING. Toilet time should be SILENT. #thismeansyoumother

Also - the thing I hate the most (and I realize this might be weird true confession time) is hearing how fast/heavy my peers pee. Like, it sounds like a fucking waterfall in there. I don’t want to…

I don’t know how great this is, or how horrifying, but it’s definitely seared into my memory:

Camp.

Canada.

Cute boys.

It’s the perfect setup, right? But see, I was a late bloomer, and got my period for the FIRST TIME literally that week, and was leaving for camp on Thursday. My mom said “No problem, you can just use…

I am a strawberry blonde, with blue eyes (and Jewish - which no one believes except for Israelis who totally get it. One of my Israeli clients refused to call me by my name when I called, he’d just yell “GINGI!!!” with as much love as you can imagine.) The “real” red of my hair was never a tint - if you fanned out the…

Try the complexion matcher from Sephora? I used that to get matched, and it turns out my “best match” is Bobbi Brown BB Cream in SPF 35.

TROOF. I also still get the “You look like Tori Amos.” Still. STILL! And when I waited tables, old dudes would ALWAYS ask about the carpet matching the drapes. I would just look at them like “Fuck you?”

OMG YES THE WISDOM TEETH. I heard the whole thing “crunch, crunch, grind, dig” and then, when they were done, they said “OK, ThirdName, we are going to take you to the recovery room” and I got up and started walking out.

OOf, peach and orange are no-fly zones for me, and I just recently was able to find a yellow that worked (mustard, if you are wondering). My hair is a really light strawberry, so people think it’s blonde, until they actually see it blonde, or see me next to my brunette sister and blonde mother and brothers. It’s…

Indeed. Always down. Always. Even in real estate photos. (shudder)

DOORS OPEN. YES.

My husband has this thing where he leaves every door and drawer open. Like, how do you not close a damn drawer that you just took socks out of?

Yummmmm.

There was a piece on NPR the other day about someone doing cocktails in Beirut with traditional Lebanese flavors (parsley, oregano, lemons, and more) and I feel like that, plus these flavors = everything I need to be happy in the world.

My husband makes a green pea hummus that has all the trappings of regular hummus, but with peas instead of garbanzos, and it is SO fresh and yummy! I am going to try this pea guac, too.

Even apart they are great. Key is in Pitch Perfect 2 (which is where there may be some overlap with this skit) and he was FANTASTIC.

*You’re

I don’t know about his/her posts, but roguelemming’s discussions show up: https://kinja.com/roguelemming/d…

My friend’s daughter started that petition. We’re very proud of her. :) <3