Wow, 17! That’s awesome. What a cutiepants!

My little girl lived to be 19, and her nickname was “wandering black alarm clock” and also “fluffy terrorist” thanks to the senility and hyperthyroid yowls. She’s been gone 2 1/2 years, and I still miss her every day. We have two rescued cats that are cool as hell, but neither of them crawls under the covers to sleep…

The two experiences I had with them (once in a club, once in a hotel party) included: sweat, black reebok high tops, gold thongs, butt pimples, and not attractive sweat smell. Oh, and then at the hotel party, he spilled a drink on another friend’s shirt and ruined it.

It’s only funny the first time, though. *MAAYBE* the second time if someone else is there to add in a different perspective. After that it’s like “yeah, I know, you thought the sand monster was going to eat you.* **STABBITY**

This is me. My husband is a chatterbox, and I try to just listen *enough* to him....but he wants to talk ALL THE TIME. EVEN DURING AMY SCHUMER. He’s lucky he’s cute and nice.

Whatever, it’s a moo point.

I say this as someone who a) LOVES Friends and can quote most of the 10 seasons from memory, and b) came in second place at GWD Friends Trivia out of 85 teams, because we jokered the wrong round (DAMNIT. NEVER JOKER THE MUSIC ROUND!): But I completely agree with you. The turning point for “mean phoebe” was The One…

I’d prolly take a road trip for that, yo.


*the pedant in me feels inclined to point out that in all likelihood I would not actually take a road trip if acid was involved, because I am as square as the extra leap second that happened today.

It’s the best dick joke that ever happened! Also, I *love* this show. Like, as much as I love Friends. And that’s A LOT.

SOME PEOPLE JUST LIKE TACOS, OK???

(not me, btw, I prefer burritos.)

Delusional. I think he’s just that fucking narcissistic and bombastic that no one would tell him no if he asked, and he wouldn’t ask anyway.

Seriously, WTF with Dr. Ruth and “Artisinal Sex”? She’s been posting non-stop about that shit. I don’t need any damn small batch arrow for a logo beard and skinny jeans sour beer hipster “artisinal” bullshit in my sex!

I am really just puzzled by people who think that their cat would have a better life outside. They aren’t wild animals. They are cats. Pets. Would you let your hamster run free? Your dog? Your goat/horse/chicken/goldfish? No, or at least I hope not.

The worst thing in the world is being a cat lover, driving down the…

I am going to have ALL THE GAY WEDDINGS!!!! My straight wedding was so meh compared to what I must do now, because #SCOTUS and #LOVEWINS and #NOTHINGINMODERATION

Have you read the decision? The last paragraph slayed me:

Only tangentially related, but I was in Toronto in 98? The day after Pride, and Queen Street was a mess, but I only later realized it was because of the sanitation strike.

Man, I love that city. Have a hell of a good time!

My response exactly!!

This happened to me too. Everyone swore up and down that I was in outie, when I am totally a gregarious introvert.

Also: