The first two acts are good. Then the author went "Shit! I have to wrap this up!" and everyone starts talking like Snidely Whiplash.

Can we expand this to also cover people who claim to be "very" allergic to something just because they don't like it?

I'm not planning to do the Master Cleanse, but I am curious: what did a body reset feel like? And how long (if at all) before you lost the weight?

Winner Winner chicken dinner!

I hope things look up soon. Good luck with the job.

You know it, girlfriend!

Yes, I totally agree with you. Did other people have it worse than me? Absolutely!

Ugh, paying in fucking coins. Never again.

YES. That really pisses me off, too. My husband, who I love dearly, thinks that because he ate a lot of mac and cheese in college that he was poor. Uh, no. When I say no food I mean LITERALLY no food.

Ditto paying for a single gallon of gas with cash, half of which is coins. Good times.

I'm on the Hashimoto's Disease diet. It goes like this: It matters not whether you eat or don't eat, because your metabolism HATES YOU and only its whims will decide whether you gain or lose weight. Prepare to have clothing available in a range of sizes in your closet at all times.

My only thought here is, "Gross beard is gross."

Same boat. My part-time retail wages all went to public transit to get me there and my very cheap rent. I have embarrassing memories of having to go into the bank to withdraw $6.50 to do my grocery shopping because I didn't have enough money to meet the lowest ATM increment.

YES YES YES. I have finally found you, my friend.

The SlimFast Diet when I was 18. I didn't need to lose any weight, but a co-worker talked me into doing this with her for "moral support." I followed it to the letter and gained 5 lbs.

Let this be a lesson to all tourists: Don't come here. Our institutions support only the wealthy and insured, and we will scam you.

I didn't hit RAGE LEVEL until "share your journey in real time." Is it also my responsibility to send out a "help I am currently being assaulted" tweet?? FFS.

Yes, but the next birthday after you turn 41 makes you the answer to the great question of life, the universe, and everything.

Some people think that men are the ones that are supposed to initiate conversations and dating, and that the laydeez are supposed to just pick and choose from their suitors, as opposed to actively seeking out a guy. Like, when I did it a few years ago, I had men tell me I was "too aggressive" by contacting them first.