Good for you! This was never going to turn into lurve.

Yippee! I bet his apartment smells like stale smoke, reheated take-out and remnants of wet dreams. Sign me up!

I snorted at this line. It was so unsexy of me to do so. I hope no men in my vicinity saw it as it might make me look even more unfuckable for my age...

Same here.

Blatant douche level: grandmaster.

He's the asshole who comes to yoga just to stare at women doing downward dog.

I was recently involved in a just-for-fun relationship with a mid20something man (boy!) 13 years younger than I. I knew he would cut me off cold when he found someone his own age to actually date but totes didn't care because we were both on the same page as to what we had between us. It was purely physical. He was…

Well, if *you* don't want him, I guess that leaves more wrinkly, greying, slapping balls for the rest of us!

Ilana and Abby are my spirit animals. Did you catch 'Playing House' on USA? Also, side splitting though in a slightly different way.

No Broad City???? That's truly surprising.

Sounds like I've stumbled upon an Opie/Anthony/Stern lovin' WWE fan. Gosh, you really displayed your intellect in your reply. You showed me, alright!

"Teen Vine Star" = there's the problem right there in those three little words. U G H.

There are few things in life that completely, instantly turn me off of liking a person. Listening to radio shows like the one this p.o.s. has and the likes of Howard Stern and having a serious interest in "professional" wrestling are at the top of my list. I flee from people who mention they engage in these activities…

You're welcome and YES 1000x to your post script. It's a shame how even I, a feminist, feel more compelled to use the "Thanks, but I have a boyfriend" reply (I am actually currently single) to an unsolicited come-on. Like heaven forbid, I don't just come out and admit my lack of interest. I guess most of the time…

YESSSSSSSS <3

I wish I could hug you. Hang in there. Stay strong. Take extra good care of yourself during this awful time as well as him....

I love you so hard for this post.

How I wish he was or that I had the sense to screengrab. It was AMAZEBALLS in its sheer awfulness and irony- touching upon all areas of a dating profile that could conceivably drive women as far away as possible. An evil genius that "man" had to be.

I have no idea if his profile still exists, but if so, OKC users, I implore you to look up "everyinchaking." If he is still on there, holla back and let me know your thoughts. He is a STUNNING display of online dating male, I assure you. (I noted his name on the Notes in my phone for posterity- that's how stupendous…

Universe forbid it but *had* anything bad happened to her unborn baby as a result of running this race, I can't help but wonder how this site would have covered it and the comments that would have ensued....