My aunt just spent an afternoon showing my 23 year-old cousin how to address an envelope so she could finally submit her taxes. There was crying involved. CRYING.

Same! It’s all muscle memory and zero home row whatever stuff. Coworkers also tell me I type crazy fast, but it’s only thanks to endless late nights trying to get my point sent faster than whoever I was fighting with over AIM.

I didn’t understand where pee comes from until my early twenties. I knew it came from the bladder, but not how it got in there first.

Right? Not only did you not puncture his body with bullets like you should have, you nourished it. That’s fucking symbolic as all get out.

I regret that I feel the exact same.

Like yes, if your establishment is empty and the pattern of downtime is consistent and you have enough room to accommodate these laptop loafers, then make whatever business decision you believe is best for your business.

Hear hear, I’m feeling that hard right now. I’ve invested years in a company I hoped would eventually pay me per our specific market (SF) expectations, but clearly all I’m accruing is experience, not money or savings. ‘No more’ is right. I’m leaving on two weeks PTO soon and am not sorry at all.

This person is ridiculous. My face this whole time:

Oh, wow. So this is what type of person I’m talking to. Okay. Have you ever in your life worked FOH or BOH? Run a restaurant?

I enjoy living in a reality where saying gross shit about entire demographics of people can label you ‘controversial’ because such an individual deserves a disparaging mark of some sort so the rest of us know what a shitheel they are.

I’m relying heavily on the fact that, at no point, did the question ever mention any actual issues these customers were causing, so I suspect that they’re rarely busy enough to need the extra table and their desire to remove these customers was purely based on principle.

Why, it’s almost as if there have been no technological advancements in the past (checks math) FORTY years!

Ha, ‘lazy baby vacations,’ that’s rich stuff.

Pfah, no. If I’m looking for a place to sit and eat and see your restaurant is bereft of seats, I’m going to go elsewhere.

I don’t doubt the placebo effect at all, especially because my migraine reaction is extremely inconsistent — unless I eat something like a massive amount of American Chinese food or Top Ramen, both of which consistently trigger a three day, bedridden event.

Photos of my best friend at all ages. Because he was my best friend’s uncle.

Agreed. They had me at ‘mustard ice cream.’ Will eat.

When should Halloween be?

Oh it was both! And what you said is so true, too. I met my now-husband 20 years ago in high school, and it’s ridiculous what things bothered me then compared to now.

I freaking wish. This sounds amazing. Too bad my precious precious MSG makes me bedridden with a vom-inducing migraine the next day.