Congrats! Many happy returns and all the other good things.

Jackasses dangling from my family tree, as it turns out :/

Damn my eyes. Thank you for posting this.

He’s also under the control of the Mind Flayer, if those glassy eyeballs in the header are to be believed.

As someone who got teased for not getting married a first time until 34, this is just insane.

Oh my god, hahaha.

My point stands: bring-stuff-to-my-door is not a job that demands tipping.

Oh man. I feel truly old hearing an app referred to as ‘old-school’

Mine also has arthritis, and is obese to boot. (He’s been overweight and on prescription weight loss foods for eight years.)

I believe that name is “PETA”

That woman would get treated to hours of Elaine’s little kicks were it me instead of you, oh my god.

Ugh, I hate this too. Worst part is, it feels so current but surprise! this is years old. It’s a good feeling to see things don’t change :/

I see he also bought his mother one of those $98 organic silk bonnets, too. /s

Maybe it was from this one psychotic woman I dealt with back when I worked there.

We Giants fans like to call that “torture” because it sounds cooler and protects our fee-fee’s better than “Ugh god what a stupid shitty long-ass game what the hell.”

Plastic foil! You win.

“the silk hair wrap you didn’t know your sleep routine needed”

The pools of scrot skin really complete the mise-en-scène.

Those hats.