You can do it! I'm hoping to work my way up to a small cantaloupe by June. One girl I know who runs a blog about One Direction—only Harry and Zane, not the rest because UGH—says she's using a bowling ball now but I think she's lying. She's always talking about how her dad owns Columbia Records but they live somewhere…

This is actually indicative of the new trend happening amongst young Tumblr professionals these days, which is "labia gap." The idea is that your vaginal lips must be positioned to form a sort of upside-down horseshoe; the wider the horseshoe, the more cachet among your fellow teen bloggers. There is training that you…

I saw him once sort of accidentally. He was at one of those teenybopper music festivals and I was there for some other band (which one, I can't recall). I still remember the whole "Aaron's Party" thing too. :D

OH MY GOD CAN'T STOP LAUGHING

OH MY GOD I KNOW. I wanted to say something awful about it but I already made fun of his comedic skills (or lack thereof) and I thought ripping apart his look would just be too fucking mean on top of it. But yes, what the fuck indeed.

No worries, I just thought it was funny.

People are free to unshare if they want; I just thought the fart description was among the funnier things I've read on Jez.

This needs to be Comment of the Day somewhere. You are a wonderful person.

Aaron Carter's Vine debut:

Right?? What's worse is that judging by the stories from these women he actually gets off on the fact that people think he's gross. UUUUUGGGGGHHHHH.

It's just about power. These men who whisper her real name to her at conventions are trying to assert their power over her. They think that knowing this silly little fact gives them some kind of control over a situation where they have an ongoing "relationship" with a person who wants no real relationship with them.…

He is so disgusting. Like, there is literally NOTHING about him that is not gross and awful.

This would irritate the fuck out of me and probably cause me to dump the guy but if this woman likes it then to each her own and all. I have to assume that the groom knows his bride well enough to ascertain if this would be her style. Maybe we should give them the benefit of the doubt. Plus, if you're worried about…

"Procrasturbation" is my new favorite word.

I've traveled a fair amount myself and my expert conclusion here is that you have been over-served. Please catch a cab.

Am I related to this dog somehow?

The combination of the hair plugs, my great aunt's plastic fashion jewelry set and that red leather jacket—apparently pulled straight from the wardrobe dept. of Gone in 60 Seconds—is a bold choice, but I trust him. This is a man who knows exactly what he is doing.

Yup...I'd still hit it.

The Chinese government will topple!

I have a lot of theories about Arya but the teenage girl in me just really wants her to get together with Gendry. She deserves it! (WHEN SHE IS OLDER AND IT IS MORE APPROPRIATE OF COURSE.)