I don't know about any of you ladies, but I am going to run out and get a few abortions this weekend just in case. Better safe than sorry, right?

This card is probably the most interesting thing about this guy. No drinking/smoking/sex? No thanks.

This makes me want to take my affair with Chili's to the next level. Do you think it would approve my relationship request?

Kylie, darling, you spelled "monotony" wrong.

You and me both, Ru.

Does it even matter, though? What purpose does the monarchy serve at this point other than diplomacy and PR? Honest question; I'm not well-versed in the British government but I hear over and over how the Royals are purely ornamental.

Agreed. Callie, you're doing an excellent job laying it all out. Keep it up!

If Courney Stodden—bless her little lucite heels—can fake a marriage to get on the show, why can't Farrah make up a stupid boyfriend?

Anybody have Stamos's phone number?

I actually hadn't thought about labeling it as such before today, but yeah, I think you're right. The point is further supported by JC's current career trajectory as compared to Kelly's. Both of them are doing things here and there but they're not anywhere near where they used to be.

I actually had to search my brain for a minute to even figure out who Duncan was. And I have seen the show eleventy-billion times. THAT is how boring that guy is.

I find myself saying that a lot.

Yeah but this is less about a pairing with Veronica and more about the Team Leader being awesome:

TEAM LOGAN, BETCHES.

Welp. Mossberg now joins Barilla and Chick Fil A in the growing list of Companies From Which I Do Not Buy Because They Are Backwards Crazies.

This trailer makes me feel very French.

That's actually the most sensible New Year's outfit I've seen in a while. She even knotted the jacket around her waist! Genius.