But less likeable! At least Alexis was willing to take a job as a receptionist, get her high school diploma and start community college!

You go right on ahead and feel bad for her. I’ll be over here figuring out how to keep my bipolar 15 year old alive and hoping against hope that our insurance continues to pay for her new $1000+/month medication. I have no fucking energy to care about some attractive 18 year old with obscenely rich parents. Fuck that.…

Or Schitt’s Creek.  She’s a real-life Alexis Rose.

I can’t really muster sympathy. I don’t wish, like, death or whatever on her because it sounds like she was kind of a dupe rather than a perpetrator. But, most of us* learn painfully that decisions have consequential outcomes, and that usually happens a lot younger than she is now. She’s just been insulated from the…

One thing I’m really interested in (assuming we all last that long) is what do these “influencers” look like in 5 or 10 years? I already can’t believe that people give a shit what type of makeup Aunt Becky’s teenage daughter wears, but one she ages out of the slightly older sister demo, who is going to listen to her?…

After the Apocalypse, the only things left will be cockroaches and tabloid stories about Jen, Brad and Angie.

Maybe if Jezebel didnt post 5 things about KK for every 1 for ET.....?

Travis Barker.  I’m not proud of it, people, but I still would. 

I so mad that I hit puberty when Blink 182 was popula. Due to hormones and terrible timing, I was attracted to Travis and I feel like it colored my fucked up manbaby choices for ten years. Fuck skater boys and the shitty low bar they set. 

Looking at Lil Xan’s face and hearing his name in my head makes me irrationally grumpy.

omg, what? they dated for a MONTH

“I’m so devastated that I managed to turn on this phone, hold it steady, keep myself in focus, and type a message of devastation.”

I want Paris Hilton to be the Leo Dicaprio for women. Don’t marry and only date young models also the alpaca in that pic is smiling, how cute 

What continues to baffle me about things like this (and that Gucci sweater, etc) is that these designs go through A NUMBER OF GATEKEEPERS before going to production. Nobody stops and says “you know what, maybe we’d better not?”

So he doesn’t go to an anti-gay church, he just goes to a “hate the sin, love the sinner” type church when it comes to the gays? They don’t hate gays, they accept them and forgive them?

When I was in kindergarten I snuck into the church during recess with a salad dressing bottle (clean, my mom was as a good reuser), filled it with holy water, snuck it home with telling anyone & drank it in my room after school.

Speaking as a pasty Irish woman, when I was around 2, I found a bottle of what I guess I thought was water in the house (in Ireland). So I drank it. As you do when you are a toddler. Then ran a ridiculous fever and ended up in hospital. What was in the bottle? The water they washed my great grandmother’s dead body in…

• FELL OFF TOILET, FELL ONTO A MOUSE TRAP, TRAP CLOSED ON PENIS

I just invented a new genre in my head - Hallmark Horror. I would love to see Hallmark’s take on a horror movie. The film would begin just like their cheesy Xmas movies - heroine has car trouble and has to remain in a quaint small town that is full of hot single men who all want to date her. But not all is as it…

My mom went through a stage of watching the Hallmark channel after my dad died. She watched all of their awful Xmas movies multiple times because it was a mindless comfort for her - she didn’t have to think and everything has a happy ending and no one dies at the end. One of the Property Brothers played a villainous…