Uh, if there is Dijon available why would you use anything else?

Take: if you put ketchup on a hamburger you make yourself (i.e., not a fast food puck) you are a trashperson and need to examine your life.

I genuinely have no idea how we continue as a country when 48% of the country refers to 46% of the country as ‘deplorables’ and 46% refers to the 48% as ‘libtards’.

The rider sure takes a long time to realize a lawsuit payout is going to be a lot more than whatever the race prize is.

If he decides to venture out into porn I think Chase Banks has a nice ring to it.

The mistake is partying on your yacht all year round. You need to pull it, winterize the engine, and apply anti-groupie paint to the hull.

Once they’re stuck to the yacht they won’t move. It’s their ideal environment and only a prolonged treatment of lack of champagne, coke, and caviar will pry them loose.

I’m suing my local Renaissance Festival in Texas, the time period represented was clearly medieval and/or Dark Ages.

I got an infection from beaver once.

Water is just clear. Grass is green might’ve worked better.

like, this was my rent, which I just spent on this thing that’s not happening.

I’m a compassionate person. I’m very heartbroken over her passing, especially since it was cancer.

#NotAllAnisoptera

Honestly as a trans woman myself, one of the most frustrating parts of Caitlyn’s transition has been watching cis feminists line up and talk about Caitlyn in generalizations and stereotypes that are either ignorant of or deliberately trying to overlook the Ivanka Trumps of the world. This idea that somehow Caitlyn’s…

The white man part is one thing. A top-flight, celebrated, well-rewarded and sought after athlete? Takes it to supernova levels of privilege.

Recognizing Caitlyn Jenner’s role in gaining more widespread visibility for trans issues is really not the same thing as judging her to be a good person. It takes an especially small-minded person to think that people who (for example) defending Jenner’s right to be called by her proper pronouns are defending her…

Caitlyn is a fascinating look into what white male privilege looks like on a woman. White women have their own sense of privilege but this Caitlyn mess is a whole different beast. She’s got like, super-duper privilege and watching her open her gob and consistently embarrass herself is one of my last remaining…

To be fair the wife and kid probably wanted him to go back to work. I mean could you imagine spending more that a day with that guy?

I took 3 months of unpaid paternity leave when my son was born in 2007, and it was probably the most important 3 months of my life.