that upside down tuna can is kind of freaking me out

Warning to those that do not like their clothing to smell like industrial waste:

Warning to those that do not like their clothing to smell like industrial waste:

Salmon jerky is basically dirtbag bottarga

there is a special place in hell for restaurants that serve cold butter. ironically, their butter gets soft in hell so they never learn their lesson.

you’re funny when you’re high

I WANT TO YELL AT PEOPLE ABOUT THIS AND START A BIG ONLINE ARGUMENT but I forgot why...

I CAME HERE TO YELL AT THE RANCH and stayed for the knob jokes...

oh, that’s what you meant. I was expecting this...

carrots + heat = candy

If you find garlic a pain in the ass, you might be doing it wrong. Aim for the hole with the teeth in it.

instantly thought of this scene from Cheech & Chong’s Next Movie

don’t forget things to bring to a shitty party. here’s my list:

I remember being in the PNW and hearing people talking about marionberries. I kept looking for this dude...

McDonald’s is a thing = TRUTH

it’s fun to use the cavity as yet another entry point

maybe try the same treatment with a pair of old boots as a control group

There are tuna steaks, however, which I am oddly fine with.

I have one question for anyone that considers this a good idea.

I just read all of this because I like your writing and I love a good rant. I don’t know much about twitter but I will remind everyone that you can learn all you need to know about dealing with other humans from the 1989 masterpiece Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure...