That's the Marina you're thinking of. I'd love to put a Rover K-series and a Ford 5-spd in one of these. Possibly a Spit/GT6 IRS as well. Sleeper-tastic...

Hmmmm, poll's sitting at 50/50, which is how I feel on it. I love it, who wouldn't? but I don't trust it...

I had to fish an ounce of speed out of a girl once on a date. True story.

Know what plants love? cold black tea from the remains in the teapot. They love that shit.

Red Dwarf.

Heavens to Murgatroyd, who put those fellows in charge of a ship? They've driven the damn thing clear out the water, and are obviously incapable of dressing themselves appropriately for the conditions. We'd best get the SBS over there sharpish to rescue 'em, then put the daft buggers out to pasture with a pointless…

Stout. Mackeson's is my preference.

I put it to you, it's very easy. Good, yes, but a single splash too much can fuck your gravy right up...

Well, now I'm going to spend the evening on Ebay looking for X1/9s that I can't afford instead of making the dinner. So I will be doubly unsatisfied. Thanks, Estrada...

Nope. Not pointy enough, you see.

And you're not going to get that from a Fiat? I'd have the X1/9 because it's so much prettier. TR7s are wretched-looking things.

If you are gonna be braising meat in wine to make a ragu, I have only one thing to say to you: pork cheeks. The resultant ragu will be a: fucking amazing and b: if you are the right sort of person, used as the filling for arancini, which, for those who have never experienced them yet, are your new favourite food.

Oh, you will, you will. Only it'll be permanently dark, they'll be on the floor, and you'll have NO SHOES...

It's just 'lego'. Or 'lego bricks'. One day, when I am rightfully crowned King Of The World, you'll go to jail for this, so bear it in mind...

Such a shame it's been messed about, these are such sharp-looking cars. And of course it's for sale in Palm Springs. Where else?

Man, doctors get all the perks...

Or the couple who were jailed for weeks while the cops desperately tried to prove a brick of soap was coke...

Well, quite. You could buy a used car with no knowledge of a hidden compartment. Or, indeed of one with drugs in it - a friend of mine's dad had a fare leave two keys of smack in the boot of his taxi. True story.

An ex-girlfriend bought a used SAAB 9000. Oh, we had fun figuring all that shit out. Lovely car, though (lovely girl, for that matter).

Make a great T-shirt graphic, that.