“Why can’t you be civil?”

This season feels like a Nats fan found a monkey’s paw and wished that the team wouldn’t lose in the first round of the playoffs again.

I prefer the full version

This whole situation is insulting, but one of the insulting parts of every one of these stories is that, not only do they think black people are all crooks, but they think all black people are bad crooks.

Can’t be totally racist, during the first stanza he’s clearly talking to someone named José.

they’re at the age where their interactions with law enforcement have been very minimal

“Phew, just imagine what Hillary Clinton’s foreign policy would’ve meant.” - Alex Pareene, Splinter News’ Outgoing Politics Editor

It’s a lot easier for a cop to hesitate to shoot a suspect when almost nobody has a handgun that they can pull out in a split second.

This is why you don't burn through all your chaff grenades

If the girl hid in a box in the back of the store she probably would have gotten away.

If that dude was First Nations, it could have gone down WAAAAAY differently.

I don’t know about the Lakers, but I know for a fact that the Pelicans offered Cousins a two year deal worth twice what Golden State offered him. I’m told the reason he passed is partly because the second year was a team option and not a player option which is the complete opposite of what players are getting today.

Jim Jordan, THE Ohio Abuse Ignorer

Calm yourself, Sarah - it’s just locker room talk. 

Pedant Alert - Apologies in advance.

Think about what you’ve done; then, you can come back.

“We want abortion to end” cries the ‘Moral Majority’.

If Froome has been DQ’d, how would Quintana know when to not make a move and get no separation from the group of 15 riders trailing a random breakaway by 3 kilometers?

First or Second revolution?