Melo needs that ring

Obviously a team with 3 of the 5 best players is going to be good, but how many marquee forwards can a team have?

“Steph Curry—maybe he can he the next eddy curry”

So... the warriors’ personnel decisions would be managed by the Knicks front office? Wouldn’t they just sign Vince Carter and Joakim Noah to max deals or something similarly Knicksy?

They missed a clear opportunity to pin the decision on Mark Stevens

“We got hosed”—

I love you, I hate you.

“now don’t do it again!”

And major crimes, FWIW. One persistent problem in Chicago is the homicide clearance rate around 15-17%. Presumably someone in the Empire world wrote a big check to a [hopefully worthy, hopefully charity] community organization, and maybe that’s just where to leave it

2019 Blake Griffin is kind of like 2009 Eminem: “respect, you’re still in the game, hoss!” 

Is you his plus-one, or what?

Hinkle McCringleberry really let down his team

Guess he’s got to get invited to LeBron’s lifting parties

Elizabeth Holmes will jump on hers

This reminds me of an old joke from growing up in Chicago, when Ryne Sandberg first retired on June 13, 1994:

I’m searching for an Aaron Hernandez joke that isn’t in poor taste

“Call the local Florida barrister and order up one Epstein!”

Durant + K-Love + Tristan T + JR Smith + ???? don’t make it to the 2018 NBA finals, tho

[smartass comment about understandable walton typo that has been fixed by an update]

I think this tweet hit peak neoliberalism