Didn’t Olivia Wilde cheat on Jason Sudeikis with Harry Styles, her work subordinate? 

And replaced it with a lithograph of a ship! Nay! I can’t masturbate to thee!

Yeah why aren’t M&Ms sexier these days? I can barely get a hardon looking at the bag anymore.

Read a history book lib. The entire reason for the Boston Tea Party was that damned King George removed the sexy lady from the packaging of the King’s Choice Tea brand in 1773.

Conservatives: “Listen woke Libtards, gender is about XY chromosomes and nothing else. You can never change your biological sex. Science doesn’t care about your ‘Identity’ or ‘Pronouns’”

He’s not sorry.  He just wants to be re-elected.

“...I will continue to operate under the standard that the government does not belong in the doctor’s office.”

Comparing human women to the cattle that we use and abuse for to exploit their biological reproductive functions for our own gain is probably the most honest thing a Republican has said about abortion in decades.

Luckily for Hanks, Hooch never published an autobiography.

The amount of irony in a MAGA conservative complaining about the “easily manipulated mob” could prevent anemia in 100,000 people.

Let me guess - next year, an addendum to the effect that ‘a smile wouldn’t hurt once in a while’.

By being the slowest runner in the class?

I’ve been avoiding this story but I guess I’m done with that.

It’s ironic  sad that it will be easier to take away the lady’s child than her gun.

When I was in DC, I asked some conservative with a boner for Reagan why his party kept using songs from artists who either hated the GOP and/or had lyrics the event planners and crowd clearly misunderstood. I used Born in the USA as an example.

Nor should they be able to stop boys (or anyone else) from wearing skirts.

I know this whole “Dirt Bag” section is about less-than-important celebrity gossip and SUPPOSED to be snarky, but are the little asides reeeally necessary when talking about a man who just died and young woman who had a stroke? Sheesh. 

What are those like mushroom caps and broccoli or something?

Old Spaghetti Factory lets me sit inside an old trolley, and doesn’t cost anywhere near $150 per person for lunch or dinner.