Now I want to hear Sleater-Kinney cover Nickelback.

I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. It’s like, “Dude, you have to wait.”
- Mitch Hedberg.

“I haven’t slept for ten days. Because that would be too long.” - Mitch Hedberg

On the plus side, the team now knows where to find a quality Fwd: FW: FWD:

Yeah, I don’t understand what he’s complaining about. He made the bet (apropos of nothing, so far as I can tell), allowed York to change the terms of the bet after winning, then went and honored his commitment (presumably without complaining to York).

Why would Kawakami agree to alter the terms from “lunch” to “dinner at a top 5 most expensive restaurant in the country”?

I’m sorry, that was my hilarious typo

I like Jose Bautista quite a bit, but apparently I like him getting punched in the face even more.

“Donnybrook” and “big fleshpile” used in the same clip. Wonderful.

As a longtime Cubs fan, I'll relish the day a Yankees or Cardinals fan says "Oh, look at Mr. Winner over there. What a smug jerk!"

Absolutely. I'm 33. Probably one of the first sports phrases I can remember learning way back when.

That is indeed real, and it’s one of the oldest nicknames for a specific type of play in baseball history. It comes from the 1890s, when Wee Willie Keeler, John McGraw and Hughie Jennings of the Baltimore Orioles were known for trying to get hits that exact way—chopping the ball off of home plate to get a big bounce.…

Definitely used. I watch a fair amount of baseball, plus the Braves, and hear it regularly.

It doesn’t have to go over an infielder’s head, just bounce high enough to allow the batter to get an infield single. See: http://www.baseball-reference.com/bullpen/Baltim…

I DEMAND THE RETURN OF THE BARTOLO COLON-O-METER

Don’t worry, the two later made up and had weird ponytail sex.

Little known fact, Laremy Tunsil’s mother is Oddibe McDowell.

But nothing tops this baseball possibility:

What makes it STRONG vs a HOT take? I need to know how to distinguish on a day like today, where cats and dogs switch places and Jezebel writers feign zero knowledge about sportsball.