Don’t name my future kid “Weiner”. Got it.

And here I thought the quarterback’s job was to get the open receiver the ball. My bad.

The joke is that there was news this morning that McGregor “agreed to terms with Dana White” on said fight and was reported by places like ESPN in a tone that suggested this was a major step in the fight happening, when in reality McGregor is already under contract with White and his having to agree to however many…

It looks like they got him to sign it though.

For Mayweather’s sake, I don’t know why you even bothered to write anything down.

No thanks.

I’m sad only because we won’t get to experience the joy of finding out he died ever again.

YEAH BUT YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS DEAD?! THIS GUY!

She’s just tired of keeping all the doors open in Brookline.

Brutal... +1.

“I’m afraid it has greatly diminished his fetching abili-”

Umm, Gisele... Hate to break it to you, but he might just be that dumb.

Every day he looks at her like it’s the first time he’s seen her. That’s just love, baby

Gisele: I’ve been feeding him increasingly ridiculous foods to see whether he has any critical reasoning left, but to no avail. I’m afraid he’s lost at least 5% of his brain.

I always thought she had that thing where someone who became mega-famous before their real sexual maturity and explorations had allowed them to solidify that part themselves, mixed with a suspicion of the other person’s motivations coming from the paranoia of being used for one’s fame, would naturally seem somewhat…

I always got an asexual vibe off of her.

By “the real deal,” they mean that their publicists negotiated an excellent contract which will ensure a large and dramatic breakup several months before the next album drops.

If the republicans managed to recover their reputation after Nixon, they will survive Trump.

You gotta remember that the DNC is like Charlie Brown.

Jeter refused to change positions to make way for a clearly superior player the right way.