I didn’t need a survey to tell me people don’t like being charged money for things.

Why are you going out eating and drinking when you can’t afford the bill and tip come Monday?

It’s your responsibility to link them via overdraft protection.

Think about your high school class. The standard ratio is that about 10 of them were good people, another 15 were decent people and the rest were complete shitbags who could get fucked and stay that way, right?

Remember this.

Franken should resign. Whatever it does or doesn’t say about democrats or his fans (comedic and/or political) or “society” or whatever, this isn’t something that’s gonna make his seat toxic. The Democratic governor will appoint a Democrat to take his place, that Democrat should be a fitting candidate who has little…

I can’t imagine how awful it must be for Nazis to be persecuted and “purged” just for their beliefs. Just awful.

Not only is that a lie, but even if it was true, we HAVEN’T abolished slavery. I guess from a purely American point of view, yes, the days of black people in chains and shackles working the tobacco fields on the plantation are over, but look at the world as a whole. Slavery is very much alive and well; it just doesn’t…

Specifically, Jenny’s, and she had the red/white/black color scheme that she knew I wanted for MINE, THAT UNORIGINAL BITCH

This is truly one of the finest sophomore year (high school) essays I have ever read.

Yes, this is the lie all pet owners tell themselves.

🎶Somebody’s single🎶

Gotta hedge. Papa John’s might be brave enough to say “fuck Nazis,” but they don’t want to lose the people who aren’t Nazis themselves, but maybe SUPPORT the Nazis.

Hypoxic chambers. Been saying it forever.

Gotta ban all pets, too.

Split the difference, adopt the Penix as a mascot:

I dunno. A few cubes in a glass of lemonade on a hot summer day are pretty sweet.

And 5+2 is 7.

What McAdoo has done with this team is some Jeff Fisher shit.

$50m/year for the most inept paralegal in America. Fuck me.