Quick! Find a serial port! 

Dave Chappelle has turned into a white guy.

Can we rename it to [This domain has been permanently blocked]?

You’ll die on this hill, but from overcrowding because everybody is on this hill with you.

I’m sure the term Daddy Long Legs gets abused quite a bit in their household.

I really love that Jez can’t tell Adam Devine (doofus from Workaholics, mostly known for getting kicked in his nuts in film & tv) from Adam Levine (doofus from early ‘00s faux rock/R&B band, mostly known for showing his tattooed man-boobs on tv).

The only things I found funny on this show were the lotto ball sketch and Kim breaking up a little bit because of Amy Schumer’s probable ad lib:

As long as you don’t actively disturb your neighbors or do anything that damages the community resources, you’re okay. Bad neighbors are ones who make other people’s days worse.

Is this that time he invited senators over to the Oval Office to watch him take a shit with the toilet door open? I mean, it can’t hurt to try, but Biden making airplane noises might ruin the gravitas of that moment.

https://jezebel.com/even-196-7-billion-cant-buy-you-a-gf-1847738989

Maybe she’s tired of being called a whore by unnamed supposedly feminist websites?

Peyton is why I typed “most professional athletes” instead of “all”.

On the list of SNL hosts that would offend my sensibilities (my monocle budget has taken a hit as of late), any Kardashian is below influencers, most professional athletes and politicians. Not a Below-Replacement-Level host, to steal a sports parlance.

If this guy’s random-ass lawsuit goes through and the burden of proof is on the doctor to prove a negative or violate his patient’s privacy, then theoretically someone should sue the shit out of Greg Abbott, Ted Cruz, Ken Paxton, John Cronyn, Boof Cavanaugh, and all those assholes down the line for unprovable abortions…

I think she can be very effective wherever she sees as the best use of her time & effort, but I’m afraid that she’ll continue to get barraged with misogynistic bullshit so constantly that she either nopes out of politics or get smeared into an HRC-like boogeywoman.

Speaking from experience, black is Choice #ohfuckthisisallyouhaveleftisntit.

I try not to judge people, but will just point out that they all found out because they fucked around.

To paraphrase a comment I made elsewhere: if they’d called it HorseRoidic Trumpjuice the vaccination rate would be 100% for MAGAts by now.

I had a coworker who was super into these gossipy stuff. I drove him up the wall every week with "I'm sorry I didn't realize they went to your house and fucked on your good bedsheets. No? Then why give a fuck?"

Unsurprisingly his friend is now thinking he should have actually left Cawthorne in the car.