Wait, that old fuck on the left isn’t some Louisiana State Senator or some shit?

Well, they can be trusted with one thing...

My mind was stuck on Knicks-era Melo, so you're right. One ball hog.

Early Bird Lakers are going to be hilarious this year, especially with two ball hogs and Dwight Howard on his THIRD(!!!!???) tour with the franchise.

I need the one where she beats the shit out of Mads Mikkelsson and commands “Bitch better have my money”.

Now I regret that we have been calling the wrong guy Fredo this whole time.

Still need to have someone (a big ol’ bear willing to take one for the team, say) go up to some of these chucklefucks and grope their nutsacks. “What, it was okay for your Orange Daddy wasn’t it?”

He never needed to develop a real connection to a woman before, probably ever in his life. This is what failsons of Powerful Men (tm) are like.

This sounds very Carax. Where do I sign?

(looks at 2016 and 2020 presidential election results in AK, weeps)

“Matt, this is Thadley from Ratfuckeration PR. This whole Amanda Knox thing is kinda backfiring on you, buddy. Maybe we should think of something that will change the subject?”

I lost the ability to tell around "Hello, Whore".

Criminal Mines is a new show about US Department of Interior mine inspectors finding deadly mine owners who get their workers killed. The OSHA spinoff will be the sexy one.

That's what Dexter was, but nobody was sure how much of the comedy was intentional.

“Well, it’s a fact” [that vaccines are safe and work as intended]

I’ve never seen MTG in the same room as HRC. Coincidence? I asked the question, you decide!

Did your loved one work in a liquor farts factory or something?

That cancelation was just another FU from MacKenzie, wasn't it?

Maybe we need to find a New Doug?

Maybe she's talking about Jez?