“Cawthorn brought pizza”?

Build-Your-Car-At-Home kit that somehow costs more than the finished car’s delivery price, or gtfoh. Bonus if you use all metric hardware but ship the customers imperial wrenches.

Had a guy at work got some exposure over a weekend, then we told him to stay home until the negative tests come back. Dude came back in two days, coughing and wheezing, so we asked if he had a test. Dude said yes, it was done in like half a day. We told him to get the fuck home right away. Two days later he got a…

I guess he's ok as long as he didn't start greasing the barrel?

A wet fart is, indeed, a force of nature.

The UK already administered 2 million+ doses, because they have a national healthcare infrastructure that has some function even if successive conservative governments keep trying to fuck them up.

If you filter out the dead, the dormant accounts, the bots, and the sock puppets, we probably end up with less than 40 million actual persons on Twitter.

OK, now I kind of want her to roll out in a Segway podium just to fuck with people.

Narrator: She was not too smart for anyone in that room. Including, no - especially, the janitors.

I can only hope that because Biden has put a Peloton and weights in the White House, we would soon see an Uncle Phil homage and a bunch of fools tossed out the front door like DJ Jazzy Jeff.

I mean, sure, why not. At least he didn't go with a Men In Black Edgar Suit angle.

I love these “I’m starting to doubt his honesty” quotes. It’s like when you see a light bulb start to flicker above their heads just before the filament goes out.

Having read their charges in the news, I think the FBI have been holding the more serious charges for later just in case that pardon comes through.

The trumps are doing one thing I agree with: get out of town before the sun comes up. Just fuck off. The next time their names are called will be either cursing the messes that have to be cleaned up, or a process server delivering a subpoena.

I think we’ll see some video from Jan. 6 that includes “This way! Lauren showed us yesterday this is where Nancy’s office is.”, or Boebert’s Parler account that got downloaded will have the receipts, or some such shit.

(South Park did it)

There was already an HBO movie starring Al Pacino (!) with the full 'fro and all.

Tell them thanks because these gift are great for when you hike the Machu Picchu, because your life is awesome now. Don't let them transfer that hate to you - let them keep it on their backs.

That is why the “Good guy impersonates bad guy’s limo driver” trope works so well. That extra little fuck-you-this-isn’t-your-safe-place-anymore feeling.

This is what happens when Spanfeller gets his #trendinglist by USPS.