The logical conclusion?

To be fair, the House can always write more articles of impeachment. Paper that asshole to death.

As a person with two trays of green onions growing from the store-bought bunches, and a dozen chili trees from scraped seeds, this comment gets me, man.

Now I want to see one of their clients go: “Mid-1830 Aristocratic Orgy Room”.

‘White Men Can’t Jump’ was most definitely not a Spike Lee joint.

“Just call me on the phone and go on speaker.”

Todd Phillips’s entire body of work can be summarized by Zach Galifinakis making a monkey do the jerk-off motion and being supremely entertained by it.

My black coworker goes to ER with his family slurring words and dealing with a three-day migraine: given aspirin and sent home

Having listened to Patrick Stewart on NPR, it’s something similar, but not a complete disaster.

Man, he didn't even extort sex for traffic tickets.

If it’s tall, it might be Nickelback Guy!

Shit, if that was true I’d probably die on the spot the first time I heard it. Also, it would have been meme’d to death by 2007 or so.

“I eat what you grow.”

Nah. They have three universities in SC ready to open a Lindsey Graham Center for Government Studies and give him $ 200,000 a year in taxpayer money to ruin democracy under the guise of ‘academic work’. Most likely next to the chosen college’s Strom Thurmond Center. Yes, that applies to all three.

Help! I gaped too much and now can’t submit my annual entry into the “What Americans got stuck in our rectums this year” blog!

I wonder if any of the gaping performers ever get DMs like “I saw your gaping and I think you should get that polyp looked at. I’m a colonoscopy tech, also a fan.”

If you don’t want or need the pics, then deleting them is not a problem. If deleting them is a problem, then you actual want or need the pics.

Other random-ass Masked Singer spinoffs include: The Masked Chef, The Masked Carpenter, The Masked Dong.

But with the prevailing judicial attitudes in France, what’s the report rate, prosecution rate, and conviction rate?

Nah. Tin-dipped cashew nuts at best.