If there ever was a time to edit a smash cut to "Sir, this is an Arby's." at the end...

Are you trying to get deluged with a bunch of “your mother” jokes these days when the AVC is lucky to get to 50 comments on a Newswire or GJI post? That well has run dryer than Mrs. Law.

How do you think donj got his current head shape?

If only those incels would stop being so fucking loathsome, they might stand a chance to find someone.... 

If you volunteer to charge Hamburder Hill, OTOH....

The best thing I can say for this song is that it’s short.

I have a photocopied advanced engineering degree. I can code the living fuck out of a signal analysis AI scheme and use fuzzy Dunlop logic to determine whether the dogs are too loud for human health. Bidding starts at $40,000, the project will take 8 months, conclusions are guaranteed to agree with whoever's paid me 

I don’t necessarily agree with you because we don’t know the talent pool she’s working with. For example, imagine being a sorority member who is pretty much locked in to a social circle that's comprised of variations of Treys.

If I had to guess: same dude who’s been peppering Michael Jackson threads when the HBO doc came out.

It’s also possible that the men in her age group and social circles have been conditioned to take sexual cues from porn, that’s basically a succession of jackhammer shows.

Your friends are just Chelsea fans.

In South Carolina, when a new Popeye’s opens up it gets so flooded that they run out of the regular chicken. I know people who will go out of their way on the goddamn NJ Turnpike to get some Popeye's. This is no surprise.

Mango soft serve? Goddamn.

You're right it reads like a potentially great twist on The Monkey Paw or Telltale Heart stories.

If none of the Sacklers end up flipping burgers to make rent on a studio outside Buffalo and make payments on a 2009 Focus, I will consider them having gotten off easy.

“Daddy why can’t we do cooler stuff like give butt cancer to all of Alabama? Billy's dad made half of Montana uninhabitable and he said his daddy said you were lightweights."

No, the email will be addressed to Jack, and BCC'd to Spanfeller, but Brettius will end his email with "by the way, I BCC'd your boss" like it's some savage fatality move.

If Jairinho tried this shit with Merkel, she’ll probably activate all those Hitler clones in Brazil to fuck him up.

Braised chicken feet in dim sum restaurants would like a few words.....

They should have the next G7 meeting at the Obama residence in DC. Most of their embassies/diplomatic residences are nearby too. The first photo op can be Merkel, Abe and Trudeau playing Dance Dance Revolution with Michelle Obama, Real First Lady.