MLS’s media deals are with ESPN, not Turner (TNT) which holds the Champions League US broadcast rights. I don’t think they’d be able to clear all the rights.

“We’re boarding in about 20 minutes. Why don’t you hit the bathroom so you can fly comfortably?”

Hey, aren’t all of his constituents going to have their crops drowned and/or blown away by Monday? An this motherfucker is out here talking about culture?

I won't know how to think until we see Meghan's form when eating a salad with a comb.

Are those cars all people who are parked to do their texting?

Is that not.....Pete Davidson?

It will make for hilarious stories if/when they reach their 60s and 70s, though. 

If this actually turns out to be Chris Paul with a fake mustache fucking up the Lakers out of spite, I will personally write him a strongly worded thank you letter.

“On behalf of the entire McCain family - I require a conversation with your manager that must end with a new carnitas bowl because this person discriminated against me by not heaping enough meat on her scoop.” 

As a grandson of a Guadalcanal veteran/survivor, I’m reminded every year that we should never stop presenting our children (and peers, and some elders) with lessons from history. Starting with the old adage: Evil triumphs not because of Good’s failures, but because of Good People’s apathy.

Next, the Led Zeppelin biopic where the mud shark incident was just some wacky Aussie in a shark costume, and they check the ID of all their groupies.

Love it.

That photo should be captioned Florda Man Discovered Sunblock.

Can we propose a law that Congress and Presidents can go to war of and only if their direct relatives (or themselves) have to join as enlisted soldiers?

I was really looking forward to seeing Giannis dunking Draymond Green straight into the San Andrea’s Fault for a couple of games, but it looks unlikely now.

I buy about 4 tons of aluminum a quarter for fabrication work, buying from American processors who turn ingots into sheets and other usable shapes.

Is it possible to make an SEO bot orgasm? Because I think you just did.

+1 waterboard

Was the unruly passenger unusually tall and seen whimpering “I’ll show you who shouldn’t run for president.”?

Did Barsanti piss in your cornflakes this morning or something?