Six months from now, Rod Marinelli will be fined and suspended from the NFL when a video emerges of him encouraging his players to target the spleen. 

Nazis vs Zombies is an upcoming big-budget mobile game I believe.

And people are so fucking stupid they think the stock market and high corporate profits is somehow benefiting the average person.

Folks my Istanbul towers are superior to both Orthanc and Minas Morgul.

“You’ve got to be trusted by the people that you lie to, so that when they turn their backs on you, you’ll get the chance to put the knife in.”

Well when you back-stab an ally in Civilization they stay mad at you for a little while but after a few generations they forget about it and you can ally up with them again so they move all their tanks away from your border. Then you invade them again obviously.

Donald and Vladimir are just doin the lumberjack jerk-off move. Look it up.

A diplomat from another country dealing with the US must feel like a business owner in a mafia neighborhood. Gotta be reaaal careful what you ask for or let them “help” you with.

I’ve already heard several people say “Well this deal with Biden’s son and the Ukrainians DOES sound pretty shady”

Damn I should get on some BF1942 right now

Oh great, now we’ll never get fusion power.

The problem with eating babies is that someone has to grow that baby with food that they ate. Save yourself a step and just eat the food, and the placenta obviously. 

I’m imagining just a line of pickups with 1 guy in each. No gunners, because they’re not about to ride bitch in someone else’s truck!

100% if he loses an election he will claim it was illegitimate. That’s a real nightmare scenario. 

It’s starting to look like the death of Christianity is not going to be pretty over the next decade or so. Well it will probably take a long time to truly die, but the transition from dominant to mostly irrelevant. 

A couple more years of brain decay and it would be easy to reverse-psychology him into buying it and moving there. “I dunno mister President, only an amazing deal maker could buy alcatraz and then live in a luxury condo there.”

*and keep it well-secured for the extremely unlikely time you will need it.
There, fixed that for you and all the haters. 

No one should ever be saying “bring it on”. Violence is a disease. Innocent people and children would be hurt and killed. All over this bullshit. I’m prepared for some shit to go down but in no way am I looking forward to it. 

You can only get it at Blockbuster.