Well, you did keep the weird spelling.

I saw Andy Zaltzman (John Oliver's partner on The Bugle podcast) do a live set and express his annoyance at Americans mocking the French willingness (or lack thereof) to fight and the old, "If it weren't for the Americans in WWII, you'd be speaking German now."

Sincere question: What would have happened if one of the respondents to the ad had actually succeeded in raping the homeowner? Now in addition to causing the homeowner to be raped and the physical and emotional devastation that comes with that, this horrible woman has turned a man who answered an ad that was…

I love that she actually used a pushup contest technique to beat him—this was not her first rodeo so to speak. Switching from narrow (arms close to the sides) tricep-focused pushups to wide (arms perpendicular to the body) pectoral-focused pushups is a well-known technique in these sort of competitions. You allow…

Nope. Both are legitimate forms for pushups, though a quick Google image search shows that he was wrong according to Army standards anyway. What she did is switch from tricep (narrow) to pectoral (wide) pushups and back. Anybody who actually competes in pushup contests knows to do this. Also, for the last third to…

I had a really bad one when I was living in a squat in London (I'm American, and I was on a tourist visa at the time). Dr. made a house call, gave me a shot of morphine and a packet of morphine suppositories which my heroin-addicted flatmate quickly stole. Taking a pill once the vomiting starts is completely…

Looks like a lot of us get migraines—do you guys get auras? Mine used to be primarily olfactory: buttered pancakes/toast smell. Not unpleasant until you realize what your body is going to do in a couple of hours. In the past two or three years I've started getting the more classic ocular symptoms: jagged vision…

Several months ago when my mother was visiting I got a migraine. I took so many Excedrin, Advil, Sudafed and Benadryl that I asked her to check on me every half hour to make sure I wasn't dead. I try not to do this, but when the pain hits I just keep taking pills until it goes away.

I've gotten full-on migraines since I was 12 or 13, but the first time I went to the hospital was when I got one without any pain. It was an ocular migraine, which meant all of the symptoms *except* a headache (fucked up vision, numbness, tingling down right side, other sensory distortions) and I thought for sure I…

I suggest he take his own advice:

I'd agree with you, but I'm guessing the drunk woman he drags home at 3 in the morning "...shouldn't have gotten that drunk if she didn't want to..." so.

I remember that too. My little brother packed up all of his plaids and donated them to Goodwill the next day. The death of grunge.

I got smacked down hard by my anthropology professor when I asked if a particular structure could have just been the neolithic version of a disco. Humans like to gather and have fun, do gods always have to come into the picture?

Those really work? Cool! I saw it (on TV maybe?) and thought it looked like a good idea, but wasn't sure of the execution.

When I was teaching ESL, I had a student, a doctor from Cuba, whose parents had immigrated from Russia. She was a tiny little blonde thing that by Vogue standards would have been quite the prize. She *hated* her body because her butt was too flat and she told stories about stuffing the back of her shorts when she…

I went to the punk fashion show at the Met last year and wanted to punch myself in the face—almost all of the looks were from high fashion designers—just a couple of nods to actual street fashion. I think if you had added up the price of every article of clothing and accessory I had in the 1980s it would not have…

I worked as a personal trainer in a predominantly Latin@ gym. Most members were from South America. I've always gotten "...for a white girl" tagged on to the end of comments about my body. The number one request I would get from female clients was could I help them get a bigger butt or more often, "a butt like…

Assholes (by which I mean anuses) serve an actual, vital function for the body, removing waste to keep the organism healthy. Brian Kilmeade is something else...a skin tag on an elderly man's taint maybe?

I had a friend, Jamie Denbo (who's gone on to some success in Hollywood), from my UCB days—she did an AMAZING one-woman show which included a character narrating a story based on the J. Crew catalog, reading it as if it were an illustrated novel. I really wish I had a recording of that performance, it was…

It's known as the No True Scotsman fallacy. It's a way for men to distance themselves from the actions of other men. You are 100% right.