Worst is seeing someone you know on the subway or platform. You know if you say hello you're probably going to be stuck talking awkwardly to that person for the duration of the ride, and probably even in too-close proximity. I try to wear interesting shoes so I have something to look at.

Are we related? Whenever something horrible happens, the first question in my family isn't, "are you OK?" it's, "did you get a picture?"

I'm assuming it wasn't in his buttcrack, otherwise they would have gotten it.

Teaching the right way to do anything isn't wrong. Teaching when and where it is appropriate to do those things is important too (i.e., don't start a boxing match with someone who doesn't want to box, don't shoot arrows in a busy park or at neighborhood animals). Physical mastery over one's body is such a great…

That is definitely making its way into my daily phraseology.

You can pry my Vibrams from my cold dead feet. They've gotten me through more than one marathon injury-free.

He'll get his engagement chicken after I get my cohabitating cock.

The first time I heard about it the headline was something along the lines of "Four Hookers Found Dead" or something. Um, no, four WOMEN have been found dead. How many other victims are reported as their careers rather than their gender and age? Imagine, "Three Actuaries Found Murdered..." Yeah, just doesn't draw a…

WANT.

Right? It was pitch perfect and so ssssweet.

Please do!

Please do!

cue the reel of John Boehner crying over...anything.

Yes, if a woman's body is public property, then under equal protection in the constitution, a man's is too.

Hmmm, how's this for a compromise: Collect the DNA of every male in the state/country at birth. Keep this on public record so that when a woman gets pregnant, regardless of whether she wanted to or not, the father can be publicly identified and then held financially responsible for the raising of that child,…

Please go to a doctor.

I'm also naturally endowed and am baffled by this desire to purposely handicap oneself. That being said, I think the fake ones are a little easier to manage as they appear to be completely immobile.

#COTW

Arrgh! Going through this right now—dude I just started dating thinks I'm really awesome, which I am, but he just doesn't have enough evidence right now to come to that conclusion. Clearly I've just stuck my face through hole in one of those carnival murals of his ideal woman.

I read it more as the only time women GET any attention is when they are sexualized, and this usually means being quite young too.