You should see a doctor.

At the top of a beanstalk. Also they are required to add “FOFUM” to the end of their name.

1) The kid who recently got picked up by ICE was an American citizen. His mother even brought his birth certificate and they insisted it was fake. He spent a month sleeping on a floor in an overcrowded cell with 60 men. The kid lost 20 pounds because these concentration camps aren’t providing basic food or medical…

he had a MOLON LABE decal, didn’t he

AND I’D SURELY STAND UP! NEXT TO YOU AND SAVE ON MY NEXT RENTAL.

Robert Kraft: [hugs]

He reportedly told his mother that if she had a problem, she could meet him in Temecula 

What time does “What time does Super Bowl coverage stop?” start?

The only person who saw all this coming was Tony Romo. 

One mistake! One on one they are not perfectly nice people. They are stupid fucking morons who have little knowledge, and absolutely no understanding, of the world outside of their little shit-kicker towns.

Whaaaat?!? Gee whiz, I sure hope you don’t disillusion me with the news that Nebrathka isn’t spelled like that either.

“In an altered paranoid state, believing ordinary citizens were government officials that were tracking him and recording him.”

I could see how this would be difficult for someone so used to going...
*Puts on shades*
unnoticed.

My sister has tickets to Game 4. But she lives in Silver Spring, MD.

You’d think with all of the unspoken rules in baseball, surely one would be ‘you should have your corporate headquarters in the municipality that you’ve cheated out of resources for years and years.’

Um, Marlins Man did it, so by definition every Marlins fan could.

God bless Marlins Man and his cohort for doing the thing every Marlins fan wanted to do but couldn’t.

LeBatard said something this morning that stuck with me: We’re fast approaching a point where Alex Rodriguez will be more well liked than Derek Jeter. Who saw that coming?

Man, I really look forward to reading this article in two months at my dentists office.

On the list of “Quarterbacks I only know exist because of lists of starters made to prove Kaep is being blackballed”