“We can’t do this kickoff because the other team is just going to catch the ball.” That’s part of the game!

Deplorable.

The Patriots can ship Jesus Christ himself over to the Jets with high confidence the Jets will wear him out, fuck him over and leave him demoralized enough to go back to Heaven with his tail between his legs before you can say “Easter.”

“I felt like I was always truthful with him,” he said, “but things change, and therefore, what I said was not the same as what I’d said previously. It is what it is.”

Best minimum wage job?

Different lies to different people- see which one floats to the top.

I’m pretty sure he was about to go on and on about how, historically, Israel has “just wanted it more” and that’s why blah blah blah.

Given their history and future prospects- dunking on the Jets occupies the same level, morally, as “Midget Tossing” 

Well, he wants to the world to run on his priorities and his timetable....

At the end of the day- Mercedes isn’t in F1 for the $16 million or whatever in profit. They are in F1 for the marketing and branding and prestige. And you can’t really argue with their success on those terms...

I mean, yeah. They dominated a sport and got back less than 4%

Bum fights is more of a sales department thing.

Before you put anything on your johnson, you should pay a hobo $5 to try it first. That’s my system. It works for picking wild mushrooms, too.

No trouble, really.

Did you ever wonder what it would feel like to just slap the shit out of everyone who annoyed you?

I’m not an intern, not anymore- not since The Culling.

It’s like this in the marketing department at work.

You know the world is going to shit when they try to convince us that living in a van can be cool. “You can even make hot coco! In France!”

I actually grew up in Paramus and didn’t live in NYC until high school.

Yeah, it’s been a while- I conflated two separate rides. There was that yellow (I think) metal or plastic slide with a bunch of lanes side by side- that used the sack.