I know it sounds impossible, but its totally possible to not know you are pregnant for a long time. I didn't know til I was about six months along. I had a total of four home pregnancy tests tell me that I wasn't, and I took them pretty spaced out over the course of 24 weeks. I have endometriosis and the wind can blow…

LOLLLL. Asking a friend's parents to drive you somewhere is TOTES THE SAME as asking a friend's parent to take you to prom and then blasting pictures of her in a bikini on Twitter to see if you could really get her to do it.

Welp, I'm never having kids.

How do I sign up to be notified when your cookie mule... er... sweet child starts selling? A guy in my office usually sells on behalf of his daughter but I want to order an embarrassing amount of cookies and make sure no one at my office knows my shame.

Excellent! You're going to clean up and sell enough cookies to pay for camp. (Actually, I have no idea if Brownies to go to camp, but I definitely did when I was a Junior and it was awesome.)

Ew. Seriously?

I used to date a Karla De Los Angeles back in college. Well, maybe not "date" and her name was actually Karla de la Block, but still.

Thank you for being alive in this comment thread

So what happened is that it was already cut in half by a professional, so, you know, obstacle dodged right there. What I did in this situation is that I opened up a small thing of peanut butter — basic lid peeling type deal. Then instead of putting it on my eyelids like mayonnaise, I took something silvery and knifey…

Mariah Carey stories always make me feel so functional.

And again, there is no crime here.

I can see how with such meager compensation, college sports would go broke trying to pay their athletes even a livable wage. Thank god coaches make so much money, since they can only physically manage to do so for like 20 or 30 years.

My Bengal does that to whenever we get a nice dry snow which doesn't happen often in Seattle.

because of freedom

Why do you reverse our dates?

I think at this point we all fully realize that reality shows are scripted to a large extent. But because CBS might have "scripted" scenes where a woman gets fired for not wanting to wearing a bikini top on TV and having a CEO gleefully rewarded with breast implants for doing well at her job is not a reason to just…

I'm going to open a testeraunt.

Well, actually he's being honest about shoving down your throat.

in bed.

I don't know, I can't help really liking her.