Yes, obviously no one likes condoms and many of us would prefer not to use them. But women are more at risk when not using condoms. Our bodies and anatomies mean it’s more likely we will contract something than a man in the exact same situation. The consequences of infection are minimal for men - we risk infertility,…

You should be angry. The reality of living as a woman can be very upsetting. We’re undervalued and underpaid and literally killed by male partners all the fucking time. It’s pretty crazy that what’s “normal” in our society. Despite this, I manage to have a full and happy life, and I try to help people understand more…

You said “let’s just ban all sex” and then you criticize me for being condescending? What exactly did you think you were doing - being respectful and open for dialogue?

When someone says no and you take that as an opening for negotiation, that’s not respecting their consent. Wheedling someone into a yes is not respecting consent. Respecting consent is hearing a no, accepting that that person has a right to their bodily autonomy, and assuming that they have considered their options…

As a woman, your cool girling is vomit inducing. Asking for what you want and pressuring is different, and you know that. Pushing for something someone already said no to isn’t ok. You can and do put up with it but the rest of us don’t have to. How about you sit the fuck down?

I dunno, I’ve been having awesome casual sex for like 15 years and it’s been going great so I’d rather keep it, personally.

This is exaggeration. I didn’t say her will was unenforceable. I said it impacts decision making and acting like a naked woman isn’t more vulnerable than a man is ignoring the reality.

Actually she already said no. At the beginning when she said she wanted to use a condom, that was a no to unprotected sex. If you have to keep asking to get the answer you want, you’re not respecting consent at all.

If you’re afraid of women crying rape I must tell you that you’re afraid of the boogeyman. Women don’t want to feel like they’ve been taken advantage of. A huge proportion of us don’t report because it’s so hard to believe that it happened and so hard to shake the feeling that it was our fault. The reality on the…

That’s your take, not mine so it’s your logic that fails. Taking into account different circumstances and power and restricting your requests to things that won’t put your partner at risk is actually pretty logical.

It’s not an active fear that someone will hurt you. It’s the knowledge that they can. And for me, personally, I am able to put that aside and enjoy the company of men. That knowledge only gets triggered when things that affect my safety come up. If, for example, a boundary isn’t immediately responded to, like if I say…

Do you believe in reverse racism? Do you believe that white people being discriminated from time to time against is the same thing as being black in America? If you do, then I can see why you wouldn’t understand that a woman doing a bad thing is different than a man doing the same bad thing. She did a bad thing. And…

Oh dear it seems nuance is hard for you. I said that all decisions are made with this knowledge. Not that women are pressured into everything we do, that we can never feel safe, or that we can never find situations where we hold power. Simply that we know that we can be overpowered and it influences out behavior.

If you’re curious about what I believe you can ask. After all I’m literally notified if you reply. Or you could just make assumptions and look dumb, that’s ok too.

It’s so funny that people go this route, because men who understand these dynamics are having way more and way better sex than you. Sorry bout it.

I think there are just some basics - renogiating safe sex is not like adding a menu item. It’s an inherently dangerous act, and yes, sexual health stuff should be discussed prior to getting naked. Just like you don’t negotiate a bdsm scene in the moment because there are risks that need to be considered with a clear…

If you choose to do this, you need to apply it equally to men. Otherwise female colleagues are being handicapped. That’s the result, and if that’s not the intended result, you need to take proactive steps to make sure it doesn’t happen. If you care about equality you need to care about women’s opportunities, and take…

Learn about gender socialization and ask for affirmative consent. Don’t assume no means no - look for enthusiastic, ongoing yes.

If you really think there’s no pressure, leverage, or power dynamics in this scenario I have to ask if you’ve heard about gender roles. Or the concept of coercion.

No but the writer was there and she says she felt pressured. Or didn’t you read that?