“I got so lonely down below I just popped up to say “hello”. Heeeey”

Never have lyrics been more perfectly timed to the situation at hand, thought Demi, thankful for the excuse to say “What’s wrong with you” to boner man.

Now thats a boner. I enjoyed his commitment to the dance routine/pole grind.

I love Bette Midler, and I love Hocus Pocus!!

It would be worth it if he did say whoa after the sex too

Imagine Keanu’s O face

There’s a really sweet little movie I really enjoyed called Robot & Frank.

It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and 010001010111011001100101

Someone might want to tell him that.

Years ago my then-boyfriend and I waited until the last possible second to get Halloween costumes for a party and went to a rental place, literally all they had left was a Pope costume and this skin tight, pink sequined tube dress with black faux fur trim. We were the Pope and his prostitute.

Several halloweens ago, I was at a house party with a few friends and lots of people I didn’t know. I walked into the bathroom and walked right in on a nun giving a BJ to Jesus while he was drinking a glass of wine and smoking a cig.

During the children’s sermon on Christmas Eve, the pastor gave the gifts these gorgeously wrapped presents. The kids opened them and the boxes were empty - he was building to something. So he asked the kids if they knew why their boxes were empty? Much much louder than he anticipated due to the fine ascoustics in the…

I still love Def Leppard. Not even sorry.

Well this is a story of my grandfather at a moment of great family sadness and pain.

My Jewish parents attended mass given at the Vatican by Pope John Paul II. I asked why, and my dad told me he was hungry and wanted the cracker.

This is a different kind of sacrilege but I’ll share it anyway. When I was in the 4th grade, I started singing with the adult church choir. One of the adults, a lovely woman who later became my third grade teacher, would often give me a ride home after practice.

If farts mean that he likes me, my husband likes me A LOT. He's pretty much a connoisseur of farts.