Thanks to the new ideas AND reminders of old friends in this article, I’ll give you the honor of naming my future foot-amputation surgery after you.

Even at my HS and other kid-ball level, it happens. Twice this year already, I’ve had a coach come out for something, and the first thing they say is along the lines of “I’m just out here so they [points at parents] don’t give *me* trouble.”

That’s exactly right, and that’s at any level of ball, and players know this. My favorite part of that clip is Carpenter’s incredulous response after he’s tossed - “What??!?” Either he’s deliberately being obtuse, or he’s a dipshit.

You’re right, it’s not.  Except we’re a country made up largely of idiots.

You made that town name up.

I feel like you went too far.

That’s fair. And don’t get me wrong: Yankees fans generally can’t get abused *enough*, and Barry’s profile picture DOES back up the contention.

In that moment, I’m nearly as angry on the road as every other Maryland driver.

Jesus fucking Christ. I’m a 53 year old, presumably adult, male, and I’m sitting in my office in tears over this shit. Normally, I would reserve that for the last 10 years of the Orioles, or (most years) my Caps blowing a 3-1 series lead. But this bothers me to my core, because it’s shit like this that tells me the…

Damn, dude - you escalated that quickly. Besides, you could be an Orioles fan.

Is that logic why we don’t have daily White House press briefings any more?

If they scheduled it for the day or so before Opening Day, then they did JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER TEAM DOES.  Look, he may have the right take on the team signing/extending players that deserve it, but on this one, he’s in full Whiny Bitch mode.

Uh, hello?  That’s EXACTLY the point.  And pretty much every team in MLB does this, so I’m sure where all the bitchy Mets players have been to this point in their careers.

I’ve never wanted to declare war on Canada, until I read your post.

Are you one of those “bike Nazis” I’ve heard so much about?  Or just an ugly person to people?  Or both?

When there aren’t a ton of replacements, sometimes, a place “survives” on that alone. We’re not talking about NYC, where a slice is available on nearly every corner.

Is this the owner’s Kinja account? Or are you an Iowan? Good God, THIS is the hill you choose to die on?

I’m a little concerned. I don’t use a washcloth, and I give to St Jude’s because a) I just fought off lymphoma, so I guess I’m now a “convert,” b) fuck cancer, c) little kids should NEVER have cancer, or at least never have their parents worry about saving their lives, and d) fuck cancer.

I think these are fanTAStic.  I’m all for not showing up an opponent during a game, and sportsmanship and all, but this is after the game is over, and the other team’s already left the ice.  Don Cherry can suck it.

He’s got a new family now.  As long as he sends the checks at the first of the month, it’s okay.