Little known fact...other team names considered along with “Blinkers” included:

Coyote Ugly still exists?

There once was a coach from Pawtucket...

Jizyah is really just the Alydar to Pope Thrower’s Affirmed. Really fuckin good, just not good enough. 

That photo brought a tear to my eye, you know...those beautiful Expos uniforms.

At least he isn’t Paul Wilson (CIN).

Enrico Pallazzo deserved more votes than Placido Polanco 

She misspelled “mutually masturbate”

Charming, sign right here.

I see Jerry Mathers

At least he wasn’t photographed picking it out of his ass.

So Browns to be getting guys at 1 and 4 that would have been available at 5 and 10. Way to go!

He seems a little too proud in letting his buddies know that there are only 4 black people in the crowd

To be fair, I’d be shouting jebus’s name all over town if I got away with double murder too.

Polish Airlines flight 111 comes in for a landing. Plane touches down and the plane comes to a very abrupt screeching halt. The pilot Stan, out of breath, says to his co-pilot “that was the shortest runway I’ve ever landed on.” His co-pilot says back “yeah, and so wide.”

And the only race that blue won (when both racers finished without falling) was the Korean, who actually lost.

He said Dick Button

Also, fuck Joe Pa, he knew.

The worst city in the country. There isn’t even a close second.

In a game where the combination of teams and the inclusion of trump meant that most of the nation was rooting for a building fire, the coups de gras was the endless jesus slurping at the end of the game. Guess the sky fairy had moneyline on the tide.