I have been waiting for this thread all year! These will probably doxx me to anyone who knows me/my family, but they’re too good not to share.

I wait all year for this!

It’s my last baby’s first Halloween! Last baby, first girl, and after all those boys, people kept asking if I was excited for my princess. Eff it. I call her The Gladiator, and tonight she's dressed the part!

Tyga seems like the type of boyfriend you cringe over once you turn 30.

The anthrolopologie version of this, naturally

34-year-old, single, one cat, making pizza for dinner...high AF.

I agree. I don’t get the appeal at all. If I’m gonna change my mental state, I’d rather drink alcohol because it leads to that great warm, floating happy space. Weed just makes me paranoid and want to self harm. People should be able to do what they want, but weed evangelists are really annoying

I don’t get why people like pot. It just baffles me. It’s worse than being drunk. But I hope we can end the dumb drug wars and legalize ALL drugs.

I just reaaaaally dislike Kim Gordon. I tried reading her book but she seemed like a TERRRRRIBLE person so half way through (seriously, I never stop reading a book, I follow the sinking ship) and I had to stop because I disliked her so goddamn much.

I never understood people who like touching people’s hair. Especially strangers’ hair. For me, hair is one of those things that I like to look at but I don’t want to touch. I mean, look, no, I don’t want to feel how soft your hair is, thank you. Or braid it either. I find it gross. Yes, I am sure you are a very clean…

Best advice: If you like the guy enough, just get it over with.

I would. If it was Hamm gritting his teeth and saying that under his breath I’d think he was being rather rude just the same.

I mean... look at those dudes in the picture. I can actually believe they just drunkenly let some random bro friend of theirs bro it up on their Twitter.

While we can understand anyone who chooses not to forgive us,

Ugh. Me.

I read the worst thing on Facebook the other day and I just really need to share, “This quote my client said to me always makes me tear up: ‘your daughter grows up and becomes a wife but, your son is your son for life.’” I FOREVER NOW MUST TYPE IN ANGER CAPS BECAUSE WHAT IS THIS? WHY? HOW CAN YOU EV? I JUST!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just thought it was so weird that he thought trying to hide it somehow made him look better than owning the fact that one of his ancestors owned slaves - he’s hardly the only American running around out there right now that could claim this kind of thing in their family history. I imagine many people would have a…

Lena Dunham bought a bungalow in my favorite dream neighborhood in LA recently (Spaulding square) and I was always like 1.5 million isnt so bad. Maybe I’ll make it, and be able to afford one of those adorable houses one day when I’m super, super successful.

Okay Jezzies, I want to hear your tales about thinking you were going to be a spinster and then finding an amazing dude. I’m 26 and I am feeling like I will never be in love again and it’s getting me down. Intellectually I understand that is ridiculous and I am too young to start collecting cats. As far as I can tell,…