1) I love your screenname.

I am glad this man exists and I hope to be like him some day (I already am in spirit, just not in resources).

That's the way to do it. Commit to the crazy! Cats are fun to be nice to anyway

I know he prefers men in real life... but Matt Bomer all of the way.

So do I. She has two of them, and they're both reasonably cute. Not fair!

I...I kind of want them both?! Greedy, I know! McAvoy's Scottish accent, that boyish grin and those blue blue eyes... Highly swoonesque.

She generally has a guy who follows behind her carrying her real purse (an ordinary black one that looks like it actually has items in it), so the same guy is probably on cat-catching duty.

My neighbor's cat followers her out down the hallway to the balcony when she goes out to smoke. She'll just perch out there and chill until they go back in. Whenever I walk by and see them I half expect to see her cat lighting up with her.

Seeing as how I spent my pubescent years in love with fictional vampires, I could totally be in to a guy who was in to my period. However, I usually feel so shitty when I'm menstruating that I don't want to have anything to do with sex.

Needs more otter.

His overly elaborate language was making my skin crawl: "libations", "ether", "vitriol", "a spree of lunatics have sugared their own egos".

I HATE "beverage". Ugh. "Would you like to get a beverage?" Me: "are you trying to take me to Safeway?"

"I've seen things."

damn it! That was supposed to say "I'd go look in the pantry for an onion."

Mussolini just stole my heart <3 <3 <3 <3 NOW THATS HOW YOU MAKE A SCENE OKAY

WHAT IS THAT ABOUT? I work at a school, and I found a poop in the staff bathroom. Like, right *in front* of the toilet, on the floor. How does that happen?

The best poop stories come from our HR people at work. We have had several poop artists at our company— they leave little presents in the hallways, or just completely defile a bathroom. I just got a call about one a couple days ago— they were finding little trails of tiny escaped poops, and then just a totally f'd up…

We allow this and we have to allow everyone to hold their pussies in their yearbook photos. I'm thinking this isn't a good idea. Just saying.

My only fashion pet peeves when traveling are when people wear dirty clothes that smell bad or clothes that expose too much skin. Or MOST OF ALL, the garbage monsters who do not wear socks and take off their shoes for the entire flight. Unless you got a pedicure in the terminal while waiting for the flight, that's not…

If I have to sit on a seat built for a capuchin monkey, terrified to recline it lest I get stabbed, you bet I'm wearing sweats. I'd wear a toga if I had one.