damn it! That was supposed to say "I'd go look in the pantry for an onion."

Mussolini just stole my heart <3 <3 <3 <3 NOW THATS HOW YOU MAKE A SCENE OKAY

WHAT IS THAT ABOUT? I work at a school, and I found a poop in the staff bathroom. Like, right *in front* of the toilet, on the floor. How does that happen?

The best poop stories come from our HR people at work. We have had several poop artists at our company— they leave little presents in the hallways, or just completely defile a bathroom. I just got a call about one a couple days ago— they were finding little trails of tiny escaped poops, and then just a totally f'd up…

I remember Quintuplets being pretty bad, but Andy Barker PI was alright and Andy Richter Controls the Universe was amazing.

We allow this and we have to allow everyone to hold their pussies in their yearbook photos. I'm thinking this isn't a good idea. Just saying.

My only fashion pet peeves when traveling are when people wear dirty clothes that smell bad or clothes that expose too much skin. Or MOST OF ALL, the garbage monsters who do not wear socks and take off their shoes for the entire flight. Unless you got a pedicure in the terminal while waiting for the flight, that's not…

If I have to sit on a seat built for a capuchin monkey, terrified to recline it lest I get stabbed, you bet I'm wearing sweats. I'd wear a toga if I had one.

I really worry about this. I don't have kids. I won't be famous. And in my field, I impact a lot of people, but never to the level that I will be remembered forever for it. I won't have enough money to get anything named after me. So I don't know. I'm saddened by it actually. I guess the only consolation is that I can…

Lafayette goes to work at Fangtasia. Show is basically Cheers, but with more evil awesomeness. Sookie dies in the pilot.

I don't read as much as I used to, so I've missed out on a lot of good books of recent times I'm sure. But I have always thought that, if there was an eternity, I'd like to spend it on a pleasant summer day under a tree, drinking lemonade, and reading this series:

Just finished it, and I'm REALLY hoping for another book. Maybe about Julia's experiences on the far side?

;)

Giant Freaking Glasses

Welp.

I get really excited about female celebrities who don't have children. As a childfree-by-choice woman, I still feel like a freakshow. But when famous women speak out (love you Helen Mirren!), it helps to normalize that life option a little bit more to the masses.

She's not always the best actress, but I loved that Karen Gillian is a true Scottish ginger, pale skin and all