I would probably move if there was enough seats to do so. I'm kinda picky about where I sit though. (Middle of the theater, best sound.) I do have resting bitch face, so I typically don't get approached. If I were approached, I would probably tell them that I don't need/want company and that I don't like to chat…

Yup, cooking for six is way easier than cooking for one. Hot Pockets and Lean Cuisine are gross but better than buying a bunch of fresh ingredients throwing half in the trash.

I left a server a HUGE tip last week because he allowed me to occupy a 4-person booth, by myself, for an ungodly long time — and most importantly, he didn't make me feel awkward about it.

Here's your bible:

FALSE.

Damn right.

Someone on the internet made this. It's terrifying.

My son is 18 and he spends half the night watching videos of some other kids playing video games and commenting on what's going on in the game. All I hear is gunfire and laughter coming out of his room at 3 am.

I know. My mom's been through pretty much every allergy-asthma regimen their is so I know what's out there and have a reasonable idea what it does. I'm just not ready to start on that path yet.

So now that she's rid of that dead weight-

LOVE IS DEAD. BRB DROWNING MY SORROWS

God, even the cows are awesome!!!

My cat's 15 and has seen me through a divorce and two breakups now. I'm quite terrified of having to cope when she dies. Best cat ever.

TEARS!!!!!!!

I'm not one to believe in fate, but the following sequence of events makes me wonder...

I was going to say. For fuck's sake, even if you're pregnant you meet Erik Estrada so you can get DOUBLE pregnant!

The highest of fives!

That's not correct. I don't know about sperm donation, but I've looked into adoption a bit and closed adoption is no the standard because it was found to be harmful to the child. The whole "you're patents are the ones who raised you" is what they were saying 30 years ago when I got adopted. Since then there's been a…

Yay, now there are two!